Surving a Migraine Storm

THE HEADACHE is back. It rudely woke me up at 5 am this morning. I think I should start naming them, like they do hurricanes. I feel sometimes like through the whole physical thing it takes me through, is like hanging onto a leaky raft at sea. I hang on desperately at times, other times I shake my fist at the stormy sky, other times I just drift along peacefully, thanking the Lord for a respite. When the headache is over, when the clouds have finally cleared away, I have such a clarity. That first day without it, I see colors clearer, sounds are more distinct, music is more beautiful. I notice everything - the way a clump of snow clings to a tree branch with one last stubborn leaf hanging on , the incredible blueness of the sky, the sweet sound of a solitary bird. I've grown to see this as the gift that comes after the migraine, after my body has gone through it's storm and survived again. With this second wave I can hope the end of it is near, if it follows it's usual patterns.

Lately I've really been noticing how adversity can shape your perspective of life, and not always in a negative way. I suppose part of it is about human nature and a part of it is about choices. God gave us both, which I think is a pretty incredible thing for God to give us teeny little humans . He didn't have to give us choice. He could have made us like insects , who go through their lives blindly following instinct. Insects don't know what is wrong and right, they don't experience joy and laughter. Some say we are merely a sum of our parts, that we are as blind as that bug crawling up the bark of a tree, unknowing that it is soon to be eaten. I don't see it that way at all.

I write my best stuff during and right after a time of turmoil or grief or sickness. I make my best decisions after I have weathered a storm and have that brief surge of triumph that yes, I , a mere human, survived it! I hate the pain, the illness, the sorrows in life, yet they kind of shape me - it seems the very act of going through it and surviving is part of our journey into growing into a better person. And afterwards if I close my eyes, I can almost feel " the brush of angel wings" and the brief sweet scent of a delicate flower, to remind me, angels are closer than we think.

I know I usually don't get too "religiously personal" in this blog, but today I felt I needed to say this:
Talk to God. I cannot reach into the lives of each of you, and sweep away the worries, the troubles, the hurts , the tears. Oh how I wish I could. But He IS there for each of you. You don't have to do anything complicated to reach out to Him, to feel His presence. You see He created you. Just as you are. I believe with all of my being that He loves each of you dearly. God has helped me through many a storm. He has helped me learn , to not only cope, but to do more than just hang on, to be triumphant in it. So please, sometime in today, just whisper to Him "I'm here. Please help me. " Just that simple.