Roses From God

Happy Belated Birthday Starla!

2011-06-01T14:10:00.000-07:00

Happy Belated Birthday Starla!

2011-06-01T13:58:00.001-07:00

just for you Tash

2011-05-04T21:28:00.001-07:00

Glitterfy.com - Mickey Mouse Glitter Graphics

Adorable Crafts - kitties and owl

2010-08-13T20:46:00.000-07:00

Just a quick post to show you these completely ADORABLE stuffed critters!

Sad cat ( made out of a SOCK-ingenious!) ( from Green Kitchen blog )

Stripey Patchwork Cat

by Green Kitchen

Backview of kitty:

Stripey Patchwork Cat:

Made by Vale of Evening Fog

from pattern by Green Kitchen

And possibly, the best for last:

Patchwork Owl Tea Cozy:

by Green Kitchen blog

Adorable!!!!!

Want to see more CUTE ness? Check out these:
( I would have posted pics but my computer will not save pics off any typepad blog)

Sock Puppies

Sock and Glove Love

Candy Cat ( knitted)

20 Sweet Softies:
Free Patterns & Tutorials

2010-08-08T06:33:00.000-07:00

Here I am actually following through on my ideas for crafts. You know I have to say, I used to think that crafts, sewing and other projects really were going to be an alternate to being online. In other words, they were going to be things I did off in a whole different part of the house, after I turned the computer off and didn't think of it again till I turned it back on the next time I was going to do " internet stuff". (See- no connection there.) Turns out the internet is a whole wonderful source of information on not only how to make the things I'm interested in, but whole new ideas I never thought, but wish I had. And it tells me what colors and crafts are "in " now so I won't make any of my friends and family a gift ( you may get one if I ever finish a project) that they consider " ugly" or " old fashioned" or even " omg mom, what WERE you thinking?" I hope.

Well hopefully I can also forestall the last bit by showing pictures of ideas of what I might make and you all making COMMENTS which requires you to now read my blog. Hey if you don't read it, you have to take that monkey shaped polyester cushion I'm plannin for ya. I'm kidding...sort of....

I googled monkey shaped cushion. Seriously, just now. Found the following:

apparently this one has a speaker in it..

But my fav is this one:

And just for gratuitious cuteness I found this:

The kitties are laying on, what obviously started out as a heart shaped cushion.

Okay back to the point , you GOTTA read the blog so you can have a say in all the crazy things I am hoping to create and might possibly foist onto you sometime in the future.

LOVE YA!

Fixed my background

2010-07-30T03:14:00.000-07:00

Not sure whether my background wasn't working because blogger changed ( AGAIN!) or "The Cutest Blog on the Block" changed. I'll bet they had to change something and I totally missed it. Anyways if anyone is seeing a blank photo bucket notification instead of their background or graphics, try checking the site and redoing it.

Blah blah

2010-06-13T04:51:00.000-07:00

Another sick day. Slept most of the day while James cleaned my kitchen ( did I mention lately HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS MAN??!!) The part that I didn't sleep was spent in the bathroom. I sprinted up and down that hallway so much James was seeing me when I wasn't even there. I occasionally staggered out to the living room to offer to beat up whichever neighbor was smoking right outside our window ( no worries James talked me back to bed and convinced me it was not the wisest choice- well half convinced me..) Actually the neighbors were pretty quiet today which I was thankful for. I alternated being sweating and shaking, to shivering and aching. Both at the same time a couple times. Did lots of praying ( and not all the usual "Oh God I'm so sick! Just take me now!" kind. ) which is the ideal thing to do while laying in bed afraid to move because if you do your body will notice and punish you. Watched Dr Who - by the way NOT the best choice to watch when one is feverish- and missed the ending because - yes of course- I was in the (insert nasty word here) bathroom! Propped James lap top on my lap and tried to type with one finger. Grabbed desperately at lap top as it just about slid off the bed. All in all a fun day, filled with exercise and thinking. ( finished four word puzzles in my latest word puzzle book. yes I cheated a couple times ) Got my sense of humor back a couple hours ago, after I had a weepy fit. Now that I have kept down six crackers and glass of gingerale I think it's safe to go off to bed.

But before I go I thought I'd share with you my latest ~~brain fart~~ idea! So I'm stuck in bed a lot. Our bedroom is quite close to the bathroom and laying on our comfy bed with a tv and a few favorite videos is the best way to get through some of my " iffy" days. I always feel guilty though. I feel like I should be doing something important, accomplishing something on my list of " gotta do"s. Don't know why I feel guilty. Its not like I'm enjoying myself, being sick and stuck in bed. But guilt isn't always logical.

Anyways on to my idea. James could possibly be a professional organiser if he wasn't married to me. He has provided me with all sorts of sensible bins that fit stuff in neatly and slide neatly into corners, nooks and crannies. A couple of weeks ago he triumpantly carried home some long under the bed bins. Do you know what that sweet man did?! He measured under our bed, before he went, to make sure the bins would fit!! Well first I filled a couple with my magazines ( which I'm slowly sorting and tossing many) I have one empty and one almost empty. So today I'm thinking, I wish the side of my bed had more room, so I could have some craft stuff here to do. Maybe some of my hand sewing stuff or crochet projects. And BLINK the light bulb went off and now one bin, the one that slides out on my side of the bed will have some craft projects in it. The ones that don't involve a glue gun or moss or painting. Because that would not be wise and would scare my poor hubby. I'm also sliding another smaller bin or basket onto the bottom shelf of my night stand to hold some puzzle books, simple devotions books

GAGGGHHHHHH!!

Oh sorry just got spammed on messenger by a nasty dirty minded individual and it freaked me out!!!

Yeah too tired now. I'll post more tommorow.

Decorating Envy

2010-06-06T08:22:00.000-07:00

I'm love looking at decorating blogs. And they are FREE unlike magazines! I feel like I can see what other people's houses look like and I can steal some lovely ideas ( or at least try to make something look like theirs dose) I love tutorials on the blogs, showing how to make various cool decorating accessories. Why do some people have a knack for grouping things and it looks wonderful but if some of us try the same, it looks like a pile of junk, or it looks like a pile of stuff you forget to put away? And do any of them have husbands who walk into the house and plunk a pile of mail or their lunchbox right on top of a display we so artistically arranged? And when they go to garage sales do their husbands go with them and say things like "Why are you buying that?" " What do you need THAT for?" " Where are you going to put that?" or even " Thats hideous"? They can't help it , poor dears. The don't see the world we do. We nest. They bring home meat to the nest.

Anyways I'm digging this girls look:

Yes, you so know, she bought this old frame at a garage sale or somewhere, and spray painted it or something and added the mat and presto! Work of wall art!!

Enough decorating envy, painkillers seem to be kicking in, going to try some more sleep!!

Bad Mood Back

2010-06-06T07:52:00.000-07:00

So it's past 7 am here and I've gotten about 3 hours sleep. First I woke up when James let out this sudden LOUD snore and when I went to move my back went into into spasm. gagh! Tried to roll into a more " comfortable" position , but there wasn't one. Stumbled out of bed and down the hall to find my back medicine. Was soooo tired, decided to try back to bed. James was imitating a brass band and the spasm had now become a knot and a spasm. Stumbled out to the living room, angry at the universe, turned on the tv, decided NOT to watch anymore news shows about the oil spill and went to my computer. Took me about ten minutes to get myself wedged into the proper position in the chair to give my back support , which tends to listen the pain usually. Usually.

The back spasms are now playing my back like a harp. I swear I did not do anything strenous yesterday except clean my tub. Which means I can go take a hot soak , hopefully that might work!

The good news about my back - no, no instant cure, but I've been slowly forcing myself to walk more and more and I think my back is slowly loosening up! Yay! Just not today. Today it is in a bad mood.

Happy Birthday to you!

2010-05-26T04:24:00.000-07:00

Late happy birthday to Natasha and early happy birthday to Starla!

2010-05-26T03:56:00.000-07:00

Starla dear, I hope you read this , I can't seem to post on your blog, I went to a Blogger forum ( because neither blogger or Google have REAL technical type people to help you) and I'm not the only one having this problem. I can only post on certain blogs, maybe the invite only ones are messing up? Anyways it DOES let me read your blog, and allows me to flinch at the horrible nausea you're feeling!!

PS (When I griped to Davey about blogger he quite rightly pointed out that it's free and I should not complain unless I paid for the priviledge. Hmm he's got a point. Darn it)

Some kitty chuckles for you

2010-05-22T03:03:00.000-07:00

medical care for early life!

2010-05-16T03:07:00.000-07:00

Don't dare ration care at the start of life

By Mark Rienzi

Special to NYDailyNews.com
Updated Friday, September 18th 2009, 8:14 AM
Leaders on both sides of the health care debate have talked about how health care reform might impact treatments for older patients. President Obama has candidly acknowledged that his reforms related to end-of-life care will require "a very difficult democratic conversation." He does not envision resolving end-of-life issues through "normal political channels" but instead expects to have "some independent group" to give nonbinding guidance.
The President's political opponents argue that individual health care decisions should not be made by the democratic process at all, but should be decided by patients, doctors and families. They further argue that the President's plans could lead to cost-conscious government bureaucrats influencing when life-extending treatments are permitted and when they must be withheld.
Both sides have said comparatively little about the prospect of rationed care at the beginning of life, namely to women with difficult pregnancies and premature infants. As with care at the end of life, care for premature babies can be expensive. But it can often make the difference between life and death.
Consider the recent case of Sarah Capewell, reported in last week's Daily Mail in the U.K. According to the Daily Mail, Capewell went into premature labor when she was 21 weeks and four days into her pregnancy. She went to a U.K. hospital for treatments to slow her labor and accelerate fetal lung development. Under national health guidelines - which are supposedly nonbinding - Capewell was denied the treatments, because she was not fully 22 weeks pregnant. Having gone into labor a mere three days too early under the guidelines, the doctors refused to give her drugs to slow labor and give her child a better chance of survival. Capewell, who had previously experienced five miscarriages, was instructed to treat her ongoing labor as her sixth.

Her son did not cooperate with that diagnosis. Jayden Capewell was born alive the next day. Remarkably, he was able to breathe on his own. Now the mother of a living, breathing child in a hospital, Capewell did the logical thing - she asked to have Jayden admitted to the hospital's baby care unit.
Her request was refused because of the guidelines. She asked pediatricians to treat her son, but was again refused because the guidelines say such treatments before 22 weeks are not in the child's best interests.
She begged one pediatrician "You've got to help," and was told "No, we don't." Because he was born 48 hours too soon under "nonbinding" guidelines in the U.K., Jayden Capewell was left to die. He breathed on his own for two hours before dying in his mother's arms, untreated, in a hospital, in a country with "universal" health care.
With medical care, Jayden Capewell may have lived. Drugs known as "tocolytics" can cost as little as $15 and delay labor for two to seven days - which would have been long enough to qualify Jayden to receive medical treatment under the guidelines.
Two years earlier, an American girl named Amillia Taylor proved to the world that a baby born before 22 weeks can survive if given proper care. When Amillia was born, doctors thought she was older, and noticed that she was making an effort to breathe. Accordingly, they put her on oxygen, in an incubator and in intensive care. She is now a healthy 2-year-old girl.
Will Obama's health care proposals lead to more Jayden Capewells or more Amillia Taylors? It is a question that surely merits some discussion before we adopt sweeping health care legislation. The President's reforms are likely to bring a host of new, unelected organizations such as the "Health Choices Administration," the "Program for Administrative Simplification" and many others. The President promises these groups will not ration treatment but will simply issue nonbinding guidance.
But even if that is true, we know that Jayden Capewell was allowed to die by doctors following nonbinding guidelines in a government-run system.
The President should promise that no living, breathing babies will be denied lifesaving treatment under his plan, and that pregnant mothers who want to keep their babies will get the treatments to do so. He can allay fears by adding a simple sentence to the legislation: "No premature baby or pregnant woman shall ever be denied treatment on the basis of any guidelines or standards issued by the federal government."

If the President cannot make such a pledge - if he cannot establish, in advance, safeguards to ensure no mother is treated like Sarah Capewell and no baby like Jayden - then we should all stop and ask ourselves what, exactly, his proposal will mean for our health care system.

Rienzi is an assistant professor of law at Catholic University in Washington

Ammilia the Miracle Baby

2010-05-16T01:03:00.000-07:00

When I found this story I couldn't believe I hadn't read it before! I was sure you all would be as absorbed as I am!

The Tiniest Survivor:
(Daily Mail.co.uk)

How the 'miracle' baby born two weeks before the legal abortion limit clung to life against all odds

Against all odds: Amillia Taylor's tiny feet in the doctor's hand

It's the iconic image of the abortion debate - the tiny feet of a baby girl born TWO WEEKS before the legal limit for terminations.(Linda's note:abortions) But what happened next? For the first time, we tell her inspiring story...At 18 months old, Amillia Taylor is already entering the terrible twos.

When life doesn't go her way, she stamps her little foot, pushes out her lower lip and makes her demands with a sweet baby lisp.

She is, her parents say with a smile, a 'proper little madam'. But it's a fighting spirit which has served Amillia well.

Because this bright, beguiling toddler was born at just 21 weeks and six days into her gestation .

She is the world's youngest premature baby ever to survive and the image of her tiny feet poking out between the fingers of a doctor's hand were used to support calls for the lowering of the 24-week legal limit on abortion.

When she arrived, Amillia weighed less than 10oz and was just nine-and-a-half inches long, with skin which tore like rice paper.
But as the debate over lowering the abortion limit raged this week - culminating in Tuesday's Commons vote which vetoed any change in the law - she was playing happily with her dolls, like any other toddler.
The extraordinary story of her battle for life, and the mother who desperately lied to persuade doctors to try to save her, began with an IVF cycle in June 2006.
Teacher Sonja Taylor, married to childhood sweetheart Eddie, had long dreamed of motherhood. The couple, who married in March 1994, spent years saving for a large family home and to finance fertility treatment.

IVF turmoil

Sonja, 37, says: 'I had never ovulated properly, and we both knew that we would need fertility treatment if we were ever going to become parents.
'We planned our whole future, working hard in our 20s and then starting our fertility treatment in our 30s.
'We tried our first cycle of IVF early in 2006, but we both knew immediately that it wasn't going to work. Nothing felt right. The embryos implanted in my womb failed to take, but a couple of extra embryos had been frozen and stored.

'It was desperate to want a baby so much, and then to see everyone else around me pregnant. I used to close my eyes and imagine what it would be like to hold my own baby in my arms.
But after our first IVF cycle failed, Eddie had a dream one night of a little girl clambering over our sofa and pulling at the curtains.
'It was so vivid that he could see her little face, and when he woke me and told me, we clung to each other. We were certain it was a sign that we would have our own baby girl.'

On June 12, 2006, the couple returned to the hospital near their home in Miami, Florida, to have the remaining frozen embryos implanted. A home pregnancy test two weeks later showed a thin blue line.

Miracle: Amillia was born two weeks before the legal abortion limit at just 9.5 inches (24.13 cm) long and less than 10 ounces (284 g).

Sonja says: 'I couldn't stop shaking. When I told Eddie I was pregnant, he didn't believe me. He insisted we went to the doctor together and had an official test. When the doctor confirmed the news, we were overjoyed.'
The baby was due on March 4, 2007, but, from the start, the pregnancy was fraught with problems.
Sonja says: 'We had a scan which showed our tiny baby weeks later, with a blood clot beside her in my womb. It caused me to bleed, and I spent weeks on bed rest.
'When I was 18 weeks pregnant, I felt ill and uncomfortable. Eddie drove me to the hospital at 11pm, and an ultrasound scan revealed that I was in premature labour. I knew the baby would have no chance, so I lay in bed and prayed.

'Over the next few hours, my contractions stopped, and I was sent home 24 hours later on strict bed rest. I hardly dared to move. At 19 weeks I began to feel unwell again. I was leaking fluid and we returned to the hospital at 3am.'

Doctors at the Baptist Children's Hospital in Miami discovered that Sonja was fully dilated - putting both her and the unborn child in danger of infection.

Sonja says: 'They told me they would try to keep the baby inside me for as long as possible. My bed was tipped at an angle, so my legs and pelvis were high in the air.'

Life-saving White Lie

It was the next morning, when paediatricians scanned Sonja's unborn child, that she made the split second decision to lie, giving her unborn baby a fighting chance.
Sonja says: 'Eddie and I hadn't slept, we were so worried. We both knew that legally, in Florida, the doctors would not even attempt to revive our baby before 24 weeks.
'We were terrified I wouldn't be able to hold on to our child for another five weeks.

'The doctor came in to do a scan, and remarked on how little amniotic fluid was left.

Then he asked how pregnant I was, and I truthfully replied that I was 19 weeks. He looked at the scan, said the baby was too big for 19 weeks, and added: "No, the dates are wrong, the baby is 21 weeks."
'Eddie looked at me from across the room and I read his mind in an instant.

'I realised that if the doctors wrongly believed I was 21 weeks pregnant, they would fight to save my baby as soon as they thought she was 24 weeks.
'It was the first lie I had ever told in my life, but I knew it could make the difference between life and death.'

From that moment on, doctors believed that Sonja's pregnancy was two weeks further advanced than it really was. But she still faced an agonising three-week wait before they would save the baby if she gave birth.

Sonya says: 'I lasted another nine days before I realised that I had developed an infection. My stomach was hurting and I had a temperature. Doctors had told me they would deliver the baby at the first sign of any infection, so I knew I had to keep quiet. I didn't realise I was risking my life as well.'
Sonja told nurses that she wanted her husband and mother to wash and care for her. She says: 'We rang Mum, and asked her to secretly bring ibuprofen tablets to the hospital, so we could bring my fever down.
'Eddie and Mum sponged me down, so I was cool whenever the nurses took my temperature, and I laughed and joked if anyone came into the room.
'In truth, I was feeling worse and worse. I just had to keep the pretence up until we reached the stage that the doctors would resuscitate the baby. Finally, when I was 21 weeks and six days, I knew I needed treatment.
'A doctor and nurse came into the room, and I said: "Would you save my baby if it was born now?" He looked at the notes, and replied: "You are 23 weeks and six days, so yes."
'I made him promise, and when he did, I said: "You need to examine me. I think I have an infection." The doctor looked at my cervix, and said to the nurse: "Come here quickly and look." She came over, took a look and said: "Oh my God." They could see Amillia's feet sticking out of the birth canal.
Before the legal limit

'The doctor called for help and I was wheeled into the operating room. They gave me a spinal block for an immediate Caesarean, because the doctor didn't want the baby to have the trauma of a natural birth.
'I felt strangely calm and detached. Something in my head just told me the baby was going to be a fighter, that it would be a girl, and she would be OK.
'As the doctor began the Caesarean, he told Eddie and me that they would wait to see if the baby was breathing, or showing signs that she wanted to survive before they decided to act. She was so tiny, he couldn't even find her in my womb - she was trapped in the birth canal.'
Amillia's skin was so fragile that her ear was almost completely torn off as she was lifted clear. One eye was still fused shut, and she was just nine-and-a-half inches long, weighing less than 10oz, the equivalent of two bars of soap. But incredibly, her mouth opened and she attempted to cry.
Sonja says: 'She was put onto a resuscitating table, and the doctor called Eddie over. He said: "The baby is trying to breath. She's moving and she has a good heart rate. What do you want me to do?" Eddie said: "Do what you can to keep her alive."'
As doctors attempted to ventilate the baby, Sonja saw her daughter for just a few seconds. She says: 'They wrapped her up and showed her to me very briefly, but she was so tiny that I didn't see a thing, she was hidden in the folds of the towel.'
It would be another seven days before Sonja got to see her child properly. Having disguised the symptoms of an infection for so long, she was now seriously ill and needed intravenous antibiotics and bed rest.
Doctors who believed that baby was just 24 weeks warned her parents to expect the worst. She was placed in an incubator, with bubble-wrap to keep her warm.
Sonja says: 'Eddie sat by her side, talking to her and just willing her to survive. It sounds incredible, but we both thought she would pull through. We chose the name Amillia because it meant fighter in Latin.
The doctors wouldn't call her by her name, they just said baby. We realised later that was because they didn't think she would survive. At first, they said we should take it hour by hour. Then day by day.'

Against all odds

Against all odds, the baby was still clinging to life a week later when her mother was finally able to see her. Sonja says: 'I had photographs, but nothing could have prepared me for how tiny she really was.
'I was so shocked, because her skin was so translucent that she was see-through. I could see the veins in her arms, hands and legs, and I could actually watch her lungs as they moved.
'Amillia's hand was the size of my thumbnail, and her leg the same length as my little finger.
'I longed to reach out and touch her, just to stroke her and try to take away her pain. All I could do was sit and tell her that Mummy was here, that I loved her, and that everything would be alright.'
'The doctors couldn't believe my confidence. One nurse even suggested psychiatric counselling. But my mother's instinct told me that the baby would survive.
'Whenever new problems came along - they discovered she had suffered a brain bleed - I still knew she would be fine.'
Amillia pulled out her ventilation tube six times, until finally her own lungs shuddered into action.

'I asked friends and family to buy Amillia baby books,' says Sonja, 'and when I wasn't by her side I recorded my own voice, reading her the stories and singing nursery rhymes. The tape played beside her all the time.
'I didn't even see her little face for a month, because it had been covered with tubes. But once the tube went, I saw that she looked so much like Eddie, it made my heart jump. She was more beautiful than I could have ever imagined.
'All I wanted was hold her. Doctors told me she had to weigh 12oz before they would let me hold her. The wait was agonising, and I just willed her to put on enough weight to allow me one cuddle.
'When she finally made the target weight, I was beside myself. The nurse lifted her out of the incubator and placed her on my chest, next to my skin. I felt her tiny little heart fluttering, like a baby bird. She almost sighed with contentment. I was so sure she knew I was her mummy.'
The miracle revealed

It was only after a month that doctors began to ask questions about Amillia's age. Sonja says: 'They said Amillia wasn't reacting like a typical 24-week gestation baby. Apparently, those babies rarely move, yet Amillia was always thrashing her arms and legs around.
'I told them the truth, that she had been born at just 21 weeks and six days, and at first they didn't believe me.

'Then I told them to check my IVF records, and the date of my implantation. One of the doctors came back with a chart, which confirmed her age. They started saying it was a miracle - they would never have attempted to save her if they'd known.'

It was several months before she was out of danger. Sonja says: 'Doctors had always referred to her as the baby, but then one day a doctor used her name, and said "when" she comes home instead of "If"' Amillia left hospital with her parents on February 21, 2007, 11 days before her actual due date.
She still needed oxygen and asthma medication to help her fragile lungs, and at the age of four months, she weighed just 4lb.

Sonja says: 'I was terrified when we got her home. She still needed oxygen and seemed so tiny and vulnerable. She slept beside me, so I could check she was OK. Doctors warned she was likely to have developmental problems, but she smiled her first beaming smile about a month after we got her home. 'At 13 months, as clear as anything, Amillia called out "Dadda" - the most wonderful sound I have ever heard. 'She did everything she was supposed to - sitting up, taking her first faltering steps, and now chatting away. She has grown into the little girl from Eddie's dream.'

After a further course of IVF treatment, Sonja is now nine weeks' pregnant. To prevent another premature labour, she is already on bed rest. Meanwhile, she is keenly aware that Amillia's survival has fuelled the row over a 24-week abortion limit.
Sonja says: 'When I look at my happy, laughing baby, and think that she could have been legally aborted and just left to die, it makes me feel physically ill.
'I hope the miracle of her survival shows the whole world that a fighting spirit can overcome incredible odds.
'I would never have an abortion, and I hope my daughter never has one. But I know it is up to individual choice. I just hope that doctors work to lower the age of viability, the stage at which they will try to save a premature baby.
'To watch her laughing in her Daddy's arms and then to think that she could have been a foetus aborted onto a slab, still gasping for breath, is unthinkable.
'I don't want the miracle of Amillia's birth to be overtaken by the abortion debate in America and the UK. But I do want the world to see how cheeky, happy, normal and loved she is, and hopefully this will persuade doctors to give other tiny babies the chance of life.'

Linda: More about this sweet miracle baby and her family in my next post

About Eggs

2010-05-14T01:36:00.000-07:00

I've always had a fondness for eggs and birdies and birdhouses ( I can feel Starla flinching as she agrees) And guess what?? The latest decorating phase is eggs, birdies and nests!! Yay! Upon seeing all the delightful eggs made from various materials, on decorating blogs, I decided, well gosh I need to get some eggs. Not real eggs mind you. Fake eggs in various delightful colors. So I kept my eyes open in the stores. Hmm, turns out in this wonderful northern BC town there is no such thing as a fake egg, unless you count the plastic ones you buy at Easter, to put candies in for the little ones. How could that be?? I'd seen darling little eggs on blogs in New Zealand, Australia and the UK - how could we not have any?? But no eggs. In fact we have no craft stores, unless you count the pathetic 1 1/2 aisles in Walmart. I don't blame Walmart . Or any other stores in town. Its not like our little burg is known for its decorating savvy ( did I spell that right?) Most people are too busy shovelling snow or mowing impossibly huge lawns, taking care of gardens or fields of hay and doing practical things like baking bread and attending the goat auction. Its a lovely little town, full of friendly interesting people. But decorating is not a huge focus here. Add that to the fact that any fad always reaching our town about five years after any other place.

I know it is not essential to my life that I find decorative eggs . But gosh it would be a fun little project, to paint them and place around the house to confound my family. This summer I will frequent garage sales (against James vigorous protests I'm sure) I will be on the hunt for eggs and tiny birds that I can spray paint (spray painting everything you can, is another decorating phase) After I bake bread of course.

my love of color - aqua

2010-05-12T04:34:00.000-07:00

Why am I posting at this ungodly hour ? ( actually all hours were created by God, just that some are supposed to be reserved for sleep) Well erm..I hate strawberries. Okay it was a LOT of strawberries. They were so tasty and made me feel like summer will come sometime soon. Add whipped cream to that, and well yeah me and the bathroom dance. Often when I have to be " up" this late I just cruise around the internet looking at pretty things. I do love my pretties!
Here are some lovely aqua decorating pretties to look at:

Beach Cottage

I just LOVE colored vintage glass!

note cool vintage silver phone and cute little yellow parasol

ahhh beach cottagey again! I love the little birdy, I'm into birdies lately.

Sparkly stuff!!!

P.S.

2010-05-10T02:39:00.000-07:00

P.S. I had a great Mother's Day. Just so you won't worry that maybe I had a bad day or something . It was a good day, there was even a bit of sunshine. A few times. I love you all and I am soooo blessed to have you in my life!!!

Technology Rant....

2010-05-10T01:59:00.000-07:00

I love technology. It has given me color tv, the internet, computers, music - a whole lot of wonderful things. I also HATE technology. With probably more passion than I love what it has brought me. The more complex our technology becomes, the more complex the breakdowns and glitches of said technology becomes. Which brings all sorts of frustrating, irritating and just plain maddening problems into my daily life.

An example is the " pretty" I bought today with my nifty Walmart gift card. A stain glass peace dove on a pewter-ish chain. So darned pretty I wanted to take a picture of it and post it on my blog for all to see and marvel. But you see my camera has been displaying inexplicable problems, not the smallest being that apparently it uses up most of the " juice" in a new camera battery in simply starting up and possibly taking one photo. Bear in mind, camera batteries cost an arm , a leg, and couple neck freckles.Obviously technology is way too complex for a simple ordinary consumer like myself, that does not hold a degree in computer science and/or electronics and if I did it would have been obsolute by last Wednesday. But it seems that nobody , not even the experts, seem to know why all of our ~~crap~~ gizmos are constantly breaking down or not working properly.

In " the old days" if you bought something, you had the right, as a consumer, to expect your product to work and to last a certain amount of time. You kept the receipt , and if it didn't work, you simply brought it back. And if the clerk at the store thought you were too stupid to use whatever you bought, she never said a word, because the customer was always right. I miss those days sometimes. Because now, we can't even be sure if the electronic whatchamacallit that we bought is actually broken or if we accidentally did something to it, to make it work, or worse, if it was simply expected to break down at a certain time ( possibly programmed to do so) so that we were supposed to go out and buy a bigger , better, shinier gadget that we also have no idea how to operate. Or maybe we put the wrong battery into it, or put the battery in upside down ( we are so advanced but apparently not one camera manufacturer has ever thought to put the words " put this end in first" on a battery)

Now this camera probably has a warranty which most likely ran out within two weeks of buying the thing, because I had neglected to " register" the camera online. ( I have all sorts of stuff on my brand new computer, that don't work because I have no idea HOW to register the programs, or where the heck is the disk, with some magical group of numbers, that would convince the company that yes, I should be able to actually USE the program I bought and paid for) I have to tell you that registering anything online, gives me bouts of anxiety and possibly hives from the stress. Nothing is ever simple. Ever.

And service? I remember that. When you could expect a company to stand behind it's product, and to actually want to HELP you use it properly, instead of advising you to google the " issue" or join a forum about all the issues of said product. If you actually talk to a real person about your (broken?) camera or dead battery that you paid freaking-twenty-bucks for, you can almost hear them shrug and say something like " Yeah they do that." And then they put you on hold while they go out and have a smoke and text sixteen of their closest friends, and then come back to tell you that you should have registered your camera or possibly you are not being truthful ( did you possibly bash camera against the wall in a fit of frustration?) Bear in mind, I have reached the age where it really BUGS me when a young person who probably graduated from high school two weeks ago, uses that tone that says " You are a retard but my boss doesn't allow me to tell you that")

What I really would like to do , is take the camera to a store, hand it to the clerk, tell her " It doesn't work" and either get my money back or be shown ( patiently!) how to fix and/or use the thing. And possibly be given several thousand dollars for my pain and suffering, and lack of cute grandchild photos. And maybe an itty bitty apology for the company selling me a crappy gizmo.

So my camera doesn't work. At all. Not having a working camera in our day and age, is only one step down from not having a cell phone. ( or having one and not activating it because you know it will drive you crazy and break down, five minutes after you put mega money into buying minutes- in the old days we never ever had to BUY minutes for anything) But hey, I talked to a gal about my age today, and she told me that she has decided she has enough frustration in her life, that she elected to put her ancient computer in a shed and refuses to get a new one or go on the internet or sign up for facebook. I commiserated with her and admired her strength of character in such an action. Then I asked her if she ever got photos of her new grandbaby. Upon which she informed me that apparently nobody sends REAL photographs anymore, that they post them on Facebook and expect you to go from there.I assumed the parents of her grandbaby are fairly proficient in the use of a computer and the internet, because they are , after all, a product of the New Millenium, and not only do they THINK they know more than us, but they actually DO know more than us. In fact, a 9 year old child of this generation could probably fix my camera.

Anyways that is my rant for the night. I am hoping that James refrains from asking me " Why didn't you bring the camera?" when we next see any of our family. If he asks, I'll refer him to my blog. Then I'll lock myself in my room and watch reruns of the Waltons on the non modern tv I keep in my room for just such occasions.

I love Vintage!

2010-05-07T03:35:00.000-07:00

I don't know if we ever used the word " vintage" when I was a " younger" woman, but even if we did I'm pretty sure it didn't mean all the cool things vintage seems to mean now. My latest entertainment has been visiting blogs of various gals all over the world, who collect and decorate " vintage" objects and love " vintage colors" and who are "recyling" old objects into new, with their own added creative touch.
There are several reasons that this entertains me. One is that I LOVE seeing young people love the things I loved when I was a child. And one thing I LOVED loved was BOOKS!! When I look at an old child's book ( popular items now) it brings nostalgic memories, of reading them when I was a child, and reading them to my own kids. I remember LOVING certain authors and the original drawings and paintings in many of the books. I've hung on to a really old set of Thornton Burgess books that delighted me as a young child. I remember finding a stack of them in a garage sale when my kids were little and I carted them home, knowing I'd found a treasure. But who knew they'd be considered more of a treasure now? It tickles me, to know that our kids and grandkids value our past, even if they probably do see it through very rosy colored vintage spectacles! ( smile!)

I have collected a nice little collection of Golden books by Eloise Wilkin. Her delightful art has never been surpassed by any other author, in my eyes! I don't have a lot of memories of my very young years, so it is special to me that I remember reading one of her books over and over again, I remember thinking that I wanted to be that mommy with those darling babies, when I grew up!

Who could not love this darling illustration??

These books are now being re-printed for the new reader of this era, of course they're not 39cents anymore! But well worth buying them, even if they're just "imitation vintage" ( smile)

Maybe it really was a " simpler time" in those days. Maybe it was just that the seamier side of life was just more hidden. But I remember some wonderful long summer days, curled up in a cool corner of the house, with a stack of books beside me, and reading the whole day and long into the night, wrapped up in other worlds.

New way of posting comments?

2010-05-03T22:18:00.000-07:00

Seeing as blogger still won't let me comment on any blog, I am trying a new way. Let me know if you see any posts coming through. Not sure what's happening, hoping it's just a temporary glitch. I'm not upset. Really I'm not.

Message to Roxie

2010-05-03T11:47:00.000-07:00

Well for two days now I can post in my blog, ( in dashboard) but the minute I go to anyone's blog, it signs me in, so in essence I cannot comment on anyones blog, not even my own. I wondered if you might be having the same problem? If so facebook me or email me so we can complain together. LOL I did all the suggested solutions and left a message on a "Help board" about this. I noticed a couple other people have posted there about the same problem. I bet there is some teeny weeny box somewhere deep in the mysterious bowels of our computer that needs to be checked or unchecked . Bless you!!

Blogger Issues

2010-05-02T12:15:00.000-07:00

I could raise five children, take in foster kids, solve world problems ( okay so I am still working on that last one) yet ~~Blooger~~ Blogger has me to the point of childish, stomping my foot frustration. It's even more frustrating to go to the " help" page and they tell you to check on umpteen things on your computer. Now exCUSE me, if I know how to do all this stuff I would be a computer tech and wouldn't have to go to some stupid help page. ( grr, counting to ..7) and really if it was my stupid cookies, would I be able to POST?

The crux of the matter, is, I can get into my " dashboard" but everytime I go to a blog it tells me to sign in AGAIN. If I sign in , it takes me straight to the dashboard. I click to back to the person's blog ( from the list in my dashboard) and PRESTO it signs me out again. So I can't comment. Period. Endless circle.

(PS Davey says that seeing as google has ~~assimilated~~ absorbed blogger and other internet companies maybe they are the anti-christ....hmmm)

Redneck Parenting

2010-05-01T23:15:00.000-07:00

Redneck Baby bath

Redneck Baby swing

and finally check out this link:

http://www.mommysjoy.com/2009/07/07/how-to-make-a-redneck-baby-cage-ahem-crib/

hahaha! Love ya!!

Random haha's

2010-04-27T02:54:00.000-07:00

Rooster Quilt!

2010-04-21T01:14:00.000-07:00

On for some lighter notes on my blog. I was looking at some lovely blogs to wind myself down before bed. ( no don't look at the time I posted this, I'm a baaad grandma, staying up so late). It's quite fun to have a peek into the lives of women all over the world, to see how alike we all are at heart, and to see how creative and talented each one is in their own area. Anyways I saw a few lovely quilts on this one blog and wondered, could I find a similar country-ish theme to make a rooster quilt? Yes I said rooster. That is my chosen obssession in my kitchen, and seeing the delightful handiwork in such lovely country colors, inspired me. So I googled it ( of course) and found some simple blocks on the How Stuff Works site.

pattern for block

sample block

another delightful sample block

Sample table runner with the blocks

THE AWESOME QUILT!!

how darling is this?! And the site even gave a free pattern download! ( in Acrobat pdf)

Free, I tell ya! Yes I do love free things!!

Not sure when I'd get to this, but I am definitely putting it on my I-Wanna-do! List!

I have tons of material, safely packed away in rubbermaid bins, that are just perfect for this!

Or I could simply make a table runner, a valance and/or cushions for our future chairs.

Did I not tell you we got disgusted and threw away all our old rickety chairs?

I had planned on fixing them . Someday. Realized I didnt like them enough to go to the work of fixing them but they were unsafe to sit on. So out they went. Don't even ask about the table.

Oh the link to this site is:

http://home.howstuffworks.com/quilt-designs.htm

God showed me..

2010-04-20T03:54:00.000-07:00

Just some cool stuff God showed me this week!!

Okay so this last one is probably just me. Seriously my hair looks just like that.

Muddled Migraine Meanderings

2010-04-17T10:25:00.000-07:00

Woke up briefly in the wee hours, after some fitful hours of weird dreams and sweats and all the delightful things that accompany a migraine, and felt James breathing deeply beside me. That comforted me, as it always does. After ten years of marriage, I still sometimes delight in laying awake beside him watching him as he sleeps. So I glance drowsily over and look at ... a foot. Glance down the bed to see his head on the other end. I had to cover my mouth not to giggle out loud. Last night I snored. I often do that lately, especially when allergies and a migraine are coming on. He told me ( oh so politely) that he was going to sleep on the couch last night, to avoid my snoring and to hopefully give me a better sleep. He established me in our room , lights down, the tv droning on low in the background and a small fan whirring beside me. All the things I need for comfort minus a purring cat or dozing doggy. I took my " migraine cocktail" of migraine meds and dozed off and on. At about 11 he came in quietly, told me half gruffly half kindly to " go to sleep" , turned off the tv , cleaned the junk I had accumulated on the bed and tucked me in. I felt loved and excused his bossy tone and went to sleep, spreading out like I do if he's not in the bed. So I can assume a) he got lonely b) he was worried about me c) the couch was uncomfortable and d) I was snoring too loudly for him to sleep up at the head of the bed with me and e) I had spread out so much he didn't have room anywhere but at the end . I am sure it is combination of all of the above. Which made me feel very loved again. I dozed more and woke up to see a foot a few inches from my face. Almost laughed out loud again. Rolled over. Slept some more. Finally woke again at 8 (freaking a.m!) got up to go potty, take more migraine meds, have a coffee and sneak a few minutes at the computer.

Not sure why these migraines are coming more often again. I'm trying to be a detective and put together any factors that are affecting my body. I have noticed my allergies are acting up a bit. I am drinking less water because I am not used to town water. I'm certainly stressed. And I have the ~~hell~~ joys of menopause now. Trying to think if I ate anything that is a migraine trigger..hmmm. Okay I'll think later. Right now thinking hurts my brain. Well actually hurts my head, because apparently our brain doesn't register pain. Learned that from a CSI show. Not that I completely believe them. I'm pretty sure my brain hurts. And possibly my hair and fingernails. But I'll be okay. Really ( staggering to the couch , falling dramatically onto it)

Love ya!!!

Clinical Depression

2010-04-15T02:42:00.000-07:00

Seeing as this is basically a family and friend blog, I feel safe in sharing something you all pretty much know anyways. I battle depression. It's been a real issue in my life since I was a 12. I can almost pinpoint the exact moment in my childhood when I knew that I was genuinely depressed, though I didn't know that word yet. I just knew that every kid wasn't having those moments of deep black sadness, or if they did, not as often or deeply as I did. The Lord has always brought friends into my life through all my years, who helped me, who made me see the humor in things, who encouraged me to keep going, who told me I would be okay and who sometimes, kicked my butt when they needed to.

I've always thought it ironic that when I'm not battling this black shadow called depression I am happy, bubbly, with a sense of humor and true my-glass-is-half-full mentality. My usual personality is not melancholy. and I rarely am lonely, or feel lonely, when I'm just being me. For one thing I LOVE people and when I'm "being me" I seek people out, connect with them, join with them and enjoy. I enjoy just watching strangers walk by me in a mall while I sit in a coffee shop savoring a mug of coffee.

Then the depression times come. I feel like it's a disease that makes me not able to be really me, it makes me afraid, anxious, sad and sooooo nervous. I'm jumpier than a cat whose had his tale slammed in the door one too many times. I see myself differently when I'm depressed. I look in the mirror and feel ugly. Suddenly I see wrinkles and grey hairs and hate my hair and the shape of my nose - you name it. When I am depressed going out into the public can be agonising and sooo stressful. A simple trip to the grocery store can cause me to be so anxious I have a painful knot in my stomach. I feel agitated, I don't want to meet people's eyes, I become convinced that when I speak, I am making a fool of myself or that they think I'm a blathering idiot.

Me who normally LOVES to see someone she knows, and chatting with them is the HIGHEST point of my day, is suddenly nervous and forcing a smile, making excuses to move on. I am glad to see them, but I'm terrified of embarassing myself or them someone seeing the secret of how I really feel inside at that moment. The more nervous I get, the more I stumble on my words or stutter. Having my depression spill out into the public, in front of total strangers is one of my greatest fears. That I won't keep it in. That I won't manage to smile at this woman I think is sweet and fascinating, who I would normally ask to go out for coffee if this black cloud wasn't hovering over my head. I feel like if I can keep this monster roped in, hidden, I am have achieved some victory.

I think everyone feels these times occasionally, but when you have clinical depression ( recurring and lasting for longer periods of time) it comes more often. Some poor souls feel this way 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. For some it is completely crippling their lives. The real person they are, is hidden, behind the dark cloud of depression and anxiety.

I am blessed. I have days, whole days, whole weeks, whole months, where depression is either not shown it's ugly little head or that I've successfully beaten it back before it even made itself a comfortable bed in my home. It is not my daily " friend" and I have a lot of " tools" at my disposal, to head it off at the pass. I've had the blessing of some wonderful counsellors who taught me tools and educated me in this battle. The best lesson they taught me is DON'T DO THIS ALONE.

You see, when I feel the depression coming , my tendency is to warn everyone in the house and run for cover. Sometimes at that point, I can't talk about it, most of the time, I only have this vague sense of impending doom but its hard to explain how it feels . I want to run and hide, preferably under my covers, with my favorite teddy bear, my favorite red fuzzy blanky, and my favorite comfort movie playing. I want to shut everyone out, even just for a while. To try to head it off before it's so bad that I can't form complete sentences. When hubby or friend asks me " Why?" it's frustrating. Because my depression times are sometimes set off by a big bad occurence, a traumatic event but most of the times I'm not sure of the WHY. I just suddenly feel like the ceiling is coming down, the walls are closing and I must climb into a hole and be safe. Gosh if I knew why, maybe I could stop it somehow. But sometimes it's just there. I know vaguely that a lot and lot of stress in life is definitely a factor. Seeing as it is impossible to eliminate stress, I stuck with stress.

I'm angry at depression. It's like living entity that I would dearly love to kick out of my life. I disown you, depression. I divorce you. I cut you out of my will. Okay I don't have a will, but you get my drift.

I don't like the depressed me. I like what I consider the real me. I like my sense of humor ( I even tell jokes to myself) I love the smallest things of beauty and spend much of my life watching for those moments of beauty and then feeling total joy. I love watching my favorite movies, reading my favorite books, doing my favorite crafts. I love all my hobbies. I love my family, and being with my family. I have the most wonderful kids and grandchildren . ( and I really mean that, I didn't just write that because you're reading this) I have a sister whom I consider The Best Woman I've Ever Known. My mom is still alive in my life, in spite of her eccentricities ( we'll call it that) I do find joy in knowing , yes she is still there. I have nieces and nephews and their spouses and I even have a great niece and nephew.

I have a lot of things to be happy about it, and too look forward to. So when that black toxic cloud of depression seeps in( or crashes into me) I am soo frustrated. It's like a dark bubble around me. I try to reach past it. I try to talk myself out of it. I read the bible and pray. ( both of which help as much as any medications and therapy) Sometimes I shout at it, " Leave me alone!" I can literally say " I was perfectly HAPPY until YOU came along"

I am battling through this. I wanted to tell all of you, that NOT ONE of you caused this! All of you have given so much joy to my life! In fact you are all MY JOY. You help me, just by being there. In fact, I've experienced a depression FLEE , gone , while I am doing something with one of you, or looking at photos of all of you and the dear grands and greats. It happened during this last Christmas. I know some of you were struggling with some "personal issues" and you all went way out of your way to try and make me and James happy, to try to all get along ( at least while we were there lol) and make things go well for us.

It's never any of you, that bring on ~~this monster of~~ black cloud of depression. You can tell me anything , share anything , you never have to shield me from anything in your lives, because you cannot make me depressed. It's not ~~my hero~~ James fault either. It was VERY IMPORTANT to me that you all know that. None of you do anything that " sets me off" or upsets me. None a one of you caused this depression or any of my " flare ups". So tell me everything. Mama wants to know.

The stuff we've been going through in the last year of ~~unbridled hell~~ changes has certainly given both James and I enough stress and worry and fear and all that stuff. Now that I CAN blame. Life throws stuff at us and we don't always handle it the way we'd like to.We're only human. The doctors suspect that a big component of my depression episodes are caused by whatever auto immune disorders I have, compounded by the stress of the whole job-house-injury-loss of my pets thing.

I was praying hard the other day, I mean hard ( nagging God like a cranky toddler) And into my mind came the thought " It will get better. I promise". At which I grumbled and complained more to God. " Excuse me, can't you ever give me a date and time??!!" I went off to chat in my christian chat room, and a woman who I don't even like and rarely chat to suddenly send God had told her to tell me "It will get better. I promise" I had told no one of my early experience so this just stunned me. ( with a side of goosebumps)

So thats my mantra right now ( can Christians have mantras?). A friend on the phone a couple days earlier said " Hon, I hate to tell you this, but you need it. Put on your big girl panties and deal with it princess!" She'd heard that expression on a tv show and thought she'd lovingly pass it on to me. I roared laughing. I am going to write both in the back of my bible!

So don't worry. Please. I am working with the dr fiddling with some medication to help me through this " rough patch". I am planning to attend a womens bible study with a couple close buddies. I'm going to take a walk every day. Sunshine, flowers and a camera! Or rain, an umbrella and the camera in a waterproof tote. Hmm I'm thinking some red gum boots are needed. It's a start towards helping myself. I'm sure somedays I will be stumbling along, cursing the rain, the weatherman, and the universe in general, but dang it I will walk! Maybe it will start with three blocks. My short term goal is to walk to the mall by summer. My long term goal is to one day do the whole river walk! But right now it's baby steps. With angels beside me.

WUB YOU ALL SO MUCH!!

Eye Exam

2010-04-09T02:10:00.000-07:00

So I went to the eye doctor recently. Was quite interesting actually. They did tons more tests this time and ended up telling me, yes that I don't see very well. Surprise huh? And apparently I should eat spinach. No, I'm serious, they told me I need to eat more dark leaffy greens, and they specifically suggested spinach. I wonder, does this girl go home at night and giggle with her husband over the fact that she got to tell another middle aged chubby person to eat spinach? ( I totally would, if I was her) This machine registered the level of something or other in my skin ( I'm still serious). What struck me as really humorous was that she gave me a card to show my low level of whatever-this-stuff-is that I'm not getting enough of, but when I asked her exactly what it was and I didn't quite understand her answer. ( hey the machines are loud and I'm deaf) So she hands me this card, and I think , oh I won't have to ask her to repeat it because she gave me this cool card. So I look at it. And it says a number. That's it. Oh and the name of the company who makes this card. ( in China perhaps, where they don't know the name of this stuff either?)

You still with me? Yes I did try to google it when I got home. Turns out that when people get to my age, their bodies don't make certain vitamins and such very well. ( gee big surprise, another fun middle aged thing) So we are supposed to ~~be punished~~ supplement our diets with more dark green leaffy stuff. Aka salad. Or worse, cooked spinach.

On to the real eye test. Which at this point, I am treating as a genuinely entertaining outing. They use more machines and a whole lot of " hold this over your left eye. No your other left" and then they tell me that (a) my beginnning of a cataract is looking BETTER ( yay! didn't know they could do that) probably because my blood pressure is under control but (b)my vision is worse. Great. Every time they say my vision is worse they tack another couple hundred dollars onto the cost of my lens. But good news, my eyes are relatively healthy ( for a middle aged chubby person who may be deficient in something or other) Just for fun, I looked at glass frames. The girl who was helping me was so earnest. Then I asked for a just for fun estimate of the cost of glasses with the frame and lens. $900. Nine hundred FREAKING dollars! They lost me on that one. Those glasses would have to be solid GOLD for me to pay that. And thats not quite $300 for the frames. So just the lens is $600. So then I asked for an estimate on paper so I can phone the medical insurance to see what part they will pay on glasses. Once they stop laughing that is.

a connection?

2010-03-28T01:34:00.000-07:00

Well my stomach has been taking me on a merry ride since I had the flu(s) and I think I noticed a connection to my leg cramps. Tonight tummy was acting up, and just now I noticed my legs are cramping. Hmm. Also noticed my stomach really hates ibuprofen, which I take when I have migraines. I had a four day one with this stupid flu. I would HATE to have to start going in for shots with my migraines again. I love making connections in my body, that are absolutely useless.

In the mean time, I am considering collaging the whole bathroom wall while I'm in there....

Is Spring really here?

2010-03-23T01:41:00.000-07:00

Spring is finally arriving I think. I haven't dared think of spring any earlier than this. But I see the signs and dare I heave a huge sigh of relief? Most of the snow has melted, I hear new birds singing every day, and I see patches of newly green grass all over town. I haven't seen the first robin yet but I've heard it sing ( yay!) In spite of a hail storm yesterday I remain optimistic.

I'm loving the smell of the air already, with the scents of late spring wood fires and brush burning, mingling in with the smell of damp spring soil and that indefineable tang of something new. As soon as I'm able to walk a small distance I will get James to take me out in search of pussy willows. Then I will know for sure, it is SPRING.

Ps yes I am sick again. I will spare you the details. Nothing serious ..as usual.

Happy Saint Patrick's Day

2010-03-17T00:38:00.000-07:00

Things I Need for my kitchen

2010-03-17T00:09:00.000-07:00

Vintage Mug Rack!

Peanut Butter and Jelly Spreader

( yes they ARE serious)

"Use this all-in-one tool to scoop and spread peanut butter and jelly. Eliminates the risk of peanut butter and jelly mixing in jars. Silicone ends allow for easy spreading"

I need to get one for my sister too!!

Bubble Scrubber Brush

Pop Up Hot Dog Cooker

( just for James of course)

Emotionally unstable Tea Towel

I want this. I really do! haha

Pickle fork that clamps onto the side of your pickle jar.

Genius

Russian Nesting Doll Measuring Cups

how adorable can you get??

Battery Operated Rotating Marshmallow Roaster

yes batteries

what else can I say?

Projects I'd Love to Do

2010-03-14T01:59:00.000-08:00

Wagon Wheel Granny Square

from Attic24 blog

A twist on the basic granny square, devised by an oh so clever gal!

She says she will be making a tutorial on it! Yay!

I'd also like to learn to do "the ripple" I really like it in bright non boring colors!

Look at the scrumptious colors!

from Firefly Cottage

I think this one is called Stained Glass because of the black framing the bright colors

Then there is this one!

(Yarnhog )

Funny thing - I used to crochet and make granny squares. I loved it. But I put my hook down for a long time and I feel a little silly saying the reason, but really I didn't want to be like my mom. My mom is so talented but she had her own ideas of what looked good and what colors went together. She'd do these intricate afghans and send them to us and they were erm um ...ugly. She's start one off in purple and end it in green. Or she'd throw random bits of whatever all throughout it. Me, wanting so much to have anything to MATCH! She never asked what colors I liked (or what colors I hated). And to make things worse, they smelled bad. Like a combination of mothballs, rotten oranges , mildew and olllldd perfume. But they'd end up on the back of our already thrashed couch, being kneaded by kittens, made into tents by the kids, and comforting whatever sick person was groaning on the couch. It's not like I could throw them out. They were "perfectly good" blankets and they were, after all, lovingly hand made by Granny. I guess I've mellowed, because now I smile at the memories...and carefully tuck the last few afghans in tissue paper and into our antique trunk. Because seriously, I'm weird in my color choices, but purple and green and yellow??!! And if I really get back into this crocheting thing, I will try to actually ask what colors you like before I make you an afghan. I probably won't listen and make them in my own wild choice of colors. But hey, I will ask!

ugly houses that got foreclosed

2010-03-10T02:48:00.000-08:00

Thought I'd show you all some pics of things we will NOT do to the house before the bank officially takes it! Our home holds a lot of memories, it gave us warm shelter during many kinds of storms, it kept us warm, it kept us safe and so many good times were made under that roof. I hope the next people who live there are happy and see all the warmth in that house. After seeing some pictures of what awful things people to do houses before they leave them, I decided I am going to do a blessing on the house, sort of a spiritual cleaning out of cobwebs. I thank God for giving us that home and I am trusting Him to keep on taking care of us! And we are going to clean it thoroughly and fix what we can. Doing otherwise would wrong, immoral and disrespecting the house. All these are pics of how previous owners left their houses when they were foreclosed on:

Apparently angry owners who are having their houses foreclosed on, like to rip out the toilets, or dump nasty stuff down them which has included cement ,roofing tar and huge dead fish ( I kid you not) agents say some homeowners are bitter at their lenders for taking back the properties and feel they've been mistreated along the way ( DUH - ya think??!!)

One homeowner who lost the property in foreclosure left behind a caged dog. ( hope he made sure someone would feed and water the dog) and another left three vicious half starved dobermans. Another person ( a woman this time) stripped the home of faucets, sinks, closet doors and the central air-conditioning unit. Neighbors of one St. Petersburg homeowner "were shocked last month when, as the bank zeroed in on the house, the former owner leased a Bobcat excavator and uprooted the wooden privacy fence and five palm trees. Postholes still litter the yard," the newspaper recounts. Real Estate agents have gone into foreclosed houses with every window and mirror smashed, carpets ripped out or paint dumped on them, all the doors ripped off smashed, kitchen cupboards ripped out and smashed..you name it.

I'm thinking crowbars and sledge hammers.

Did this guy think he was an artist? A creepy artist

Some people try to take ceiling fixtures and fans:

Fail

The horrid paint colors compended the crime

Some people clean out their place. And I mean CLEAN OUT

Um wasn't there supposed to be KITCHEN here??

" Hon did you remember to bring the floor?"

I wonder if any of these destructive Bozos, signed their name and address?

Now for the grande finale I will show you a few houses, where the owner, upon foreclosure just left. Without their belongings or furniture or private items. Maybe they had no where to put it. This one makes me kinda sad, while also disgusted.

Nasty. Maybe they couldn't afford to pay anyone to take this ~~shi~~ garbage away.

Okay I'm going to try to sleep, if this stupid stomach will let me.

Ugly Houses?

2010-03-08T23:08:00.000-08:00

I'm curled up on my lovely comfy computer chair, wrapped in a pink fuzzy blanky, waiting for my advil to kick in, and entertaining myself with this site I newly discovered called Ugly House Photos. This site is cracking me up. The person's comments are hilarious and even funnier to me is I have not only seen houses just like these, but also LIVED in them! haha. By the way I hope that 80s decorating NEVER comes back as " vintage" when my grandkids are grown. Another thing that made me laugh is that I LIKE some of these rooms and would possibly decorate my own room like them. But luckily for you and all ( not to mention James and Davey) I will try to resist the tackier impulses. Try. hehe

Here are some examples:

I've seen a number of houses with this furniture. In it's defense it's darned comfy

and the pet hairs hardly show at all on this pattern. Usually sets like this live forever

and are passed on from person to person until the holes get dangerous to toddlers.

Oohh this one actually made me shudder. Note the date.

This is not a picture from the 80s. Note the lovely plastic

wrap on the lamp. I confess . I used to leave it on too.

Okay I think there should be a law against white furniture.

Or at least this style of white furniture. The comment person says:

"Bride of Chucky is hiding behind the cabinet, waiting to attack buyers.

Another one of those creepy Dora the Explorer dolls."

Yep, there is a blow up doll.

Also note the weird lamp with the shrunken shade

This house wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the very creepy doll.

Yes that is a DOLL on the desk

It's alive!! I want it. Doesn't the purple just reach out and grab you.

Or maybe its the doll that looks like it will reach out and grab you.

You all just know this would have been my bedroom a couple years back

if I could have had it! hahaha

The comment person has this to say:

"Large dolls give me the creeps. Bride of Chucky meets Poltergeist."

But the crucifix over the bed is a good touch.

I lived with some erm bright colors but this one would send even me

running screaming, not to mention I'd not be able to see because that yellow

would reflect into my photogray glasses and make them turn into

sunglasses.

I'm all for the asian theme, but I wonder if the owners of this room

did a rethink of their choice for wallcolors??

Another bright yellow wall. Add the lovely mural. YIKES! Just think

the difference a different color of paint would make.

Now these two pictures I title " My Future Trailer Home" haha

Scarily enough I love it EXCEPT the color of the walls. I mean if I'm

going to slam my poor visitors with my dizzying array of treasure, I

figure I'll at least keep the color of the walls toned down! Hmm

not to mention the ceilings...

Is that a red or bright pink rug? And the couches are ewwww. Oh and the tasteful blue

area rug to take your mind off the pink and orange curtains.

Keep in mind, that every one of these pictures is from a real estate listing. These wannabee decorators have their houses up for sale, and these are the pictures that they hope will draw in buyers!

Hope this made you laugh cuz it sure made me chuckle!!

Movies, movies, moving movies..?

2010-03-06T00:35:00.000-08:00

I swear , at least once a week, I get all weepy and think of all my "gals" and want to get everyone together to watch Sleepless In Seattle together. You ever notice that Meg Ryan is great at crying? I mean some girls, when they cry in a movie it kind of wrecks the scene, because they are lousy at it. I absolutely LOVE Patricia Arquette but in both the Medium and the movie Stigmata, she is a crappy crier. I think she makes up for it in other ways, but she'd be even better if she could whip up a genuine sob or two and get some REAL tears in those beautiful eyes. ( don't worry I'm not crushing on her haha)

We rented Surrogates and found the twists interesting. I think I might have preferred a little more of the story line, but hey , the action was pretty cool, including the bizarre car chase where that female surrogate went all Terminator, and then when Bruce Willis ran over all those " bodies" and they piled up, it kind of freaked me out , then made me laugh. Bizzaro, cuz they looked real and sounded real but yet you knew they were robots. Enjoyed it but watching it once was enough. Did you notice the dr ( who tried to kill off most of the planet) was the same guy who played the Dr in IRobot?

James bought Four Christmases , seeing as we love most Christmas movies, even when it's not Christmas. Not so great. I think they tried to imitate National Lampoon Christmas Vacation. I loved the two main characters and their dialogue but then they threw in all the family weirdness and we had a few laughs and mostly went " ew" or "okay, thats stupid!" The first baby in the movie ( Brad's niece) was so adorable and she really reminded me of Jaynie!

I'd give it an okay , but think you should wait till Christmas season to try it, and don't expect huge things ( or at least watch it when in a goofy mood)

James also bought The Bucket List. He's watched it four times in two days I think. Still darned good, even after repeated watchings. But I think I'd like to stop thinking about death now. Please. Time for a chick flick...hmm which one..Tash which one has the happiest ending?

Speaking of endings, does Law Abiding Citizen have a good ending? I may consider it, if it does. I remember watching one movie where Denzel Washington played a bad guy. I was so disturbed I wouldn't watch him in anything for years! LOL

Where's the Easter kitty?

2010-03-02T00:42:00.000-08:00

Just for Roxy:

Yay Canada!!

2010-03-01T00:21:00.000-08:00

Just a little post to say I'm excited about Canada's wins in the Olympics and I even watched some of it ( sports phobic here). I felt a surge of patriotism this last few weeks that kind of suprised me. With all thats going on in the world, I kind of resented the whole idea of the Olympics. But I was just being grumpy, because the Olympics means more than the cost of the event and the posturing of politicians. It was nice to be reminded that I am proud to be Canadian and that there are wonderful dedicated people in this world and gee we all smiled a bit more than usual!

Thinking about love..

2010-02-24T02:28:00.000-08:00

Starla's post got me thinking about the things I love about James and how I love the way he loves me!! ( does that make sense?)

We went to Prince George today, to pick up his new glasses ( we're hurriedly getting new glasses while we still have medical ) and to drop off a load of stuff at Value Village. He insisted I spend some time in Value Village to just wander while he went to get his glasses ( he also picked up the $18 wonderful purple frames I had picked out for my reading glasses, and they even put them in a nice case!) He looked a little startled that I had picked out one shirt and just wanted to look at " the pretties". Then we travelled from store to store on the first saga of "Hunt for the Elusive Perfect Lamp". No we didn't find one LOL Seriously are there are only ugly and/or cheap looking lamps in northern BC? He was so patient and we even joked about my lamp criteria list. Well to me that is LOVE. Taking your wife from store to store, looking at each one and pronouncing them ugly because you know this has taken on some importance to your wife. And then we had lunch at the foodcourt . Tacos. Big mistake. It took about five minutes for that all too familiar " I've got to find a bathroom NOW" feeling. And he told me exactly where the nearest bathroom was. When I came out, he asked me how I was, and could see the concern on his face. And that touched my heart. And then he did the most loving thing of all. As we went from store to store, he would tell me, at intervals where each bathroom was, relative to whatever store or part of the mall we were at. And I realized, he has taken the time to find our where every bathroom is, just for me. To make it easier for me. Because he cares. It may sound crazy that this got me all emotional , but this is BIG to me. These every day acts of love, these kindnesses that might seem small to someone else, are all part of the big package of why I not only love James, but I also like him, and admire him as a person. And yes, he is my best friend. I am blessed to have some wonderful friends in my life and there is nothing quite like a gal pal, but James is my first best friend ( or as we say to each other " You know you're the best wife/husband I've ever had"haha ) . I think that when you go through the hard times with someone you love, thats when you not only work through all the difficulties, but you also get to see them shine. I guess I really want to try harder, to give James those opportunities to shine, and to let him know how much it means to me!

I love " shabby chic"

2010-02-23T23:47:00.000-08:00

I admit it, I LOVE shabby chic. Shabby Chic is the newest decorating phase. Its sort of like vintage meets frou frou mixed with pink and pastels and lots and lots of white. "Distressed" furniture and accessories are popular , as is anything with roses and also home made crafty things, especially flowers, birds and angels. I love the whole look. But alas, I will look and not really touch. Because white is my enemy. I am a slob. I quit wearing or buying anything white when the twins were babies. I love lace , especially eyelet lace and battenburg lace, so I sneak it into our house and put them here and there. But after our chimney fire I washed all the surviving lace and packed it away. White lace doesn't fare so well with smoke or creosote soot, mixed with an embarrasing amount of dust. Now I can bring some of them out again. But I'll probably never go the whole shabby chic thing though my "look" is sort of a dark shade of shabby chic country. When I stick to a "look". I realized the other day that the only furniture or accessory we own , that we actually bought, instead of accidentally inheriting it, is the couch and loveseat.)

James announced the other day that we " need a lamp". Part of me rejoiced, the other part of me flinched. You see, I haven't had a new lamp in my living room in so many years ( did I ever?) that this lamp is going to be a BIG deal to me. And I suspect poor James won't " get" it. He will look for a lamp that is sturdy, that looks okay, that doesn't look hugely ugly and won't break if a grandchild knocks it over. I , on the other hand, have a whole list of criteria this lamp must meet. I think I should make a list and bring it when we search for a lamp. I know he'll look at it and argue. Lately we both feel a little out of control of life and so we put our foot down about certain things. And logic is James' haven!

I think he had an inkling that there might be some difficulty in this lamp buying, when we were at Walmart the other day. He looked at a lamp and I made a gagging noise. He gave me a funny look and said " Whats wrong with it?!" ( ARG) I gave him a funny look and snapped " Its fun if you want a hideously ugly piece of crap that will make me puke every time I see it." Okay overreacing just teeny bit there, I admit. He looks at another one and I say " It's WHITE!" ( refer to the beginning of this post hehe) I was getting a bit smarter though, and I gave it a good shake and said " Oh its not very sturdy" But I kind of shot myself in the foot, because the next few lamps he looked at , were possibilities to me, but he put them through the " sturdy" test and they failed. Great. I mean, it's probably a good thing- I've tried to buy a few lamps from Walmart and they either have a missing piece or they blow up after the first week. And I hate HATE those stupid touch lamps that need those tiny chandelier bulbs that cost ten times more than an ordinary light bulb. And then the lamp suddenly quits after you broke down and bought two packages of the expensive bulbs.

Okay so here's my list:

1. Must not be modern-ish or Feng Shu-ish. I'm into country, not modern.

2. Must NOT look like it is a discard from the 80s
3. Must NOT be plain white, though I'd like a white or cream colored shade
4. Must fit ONE regular light bulb.No chandelier bulbs or other mini bulbs. No four way bulbs. Just one ordinary sized 100 watt fluorescent bulb. ( I'm carrying one in my purse to make sure)
5. NOT a floor lamp. Firstly very few of them are "sturdy". I don't want a baby trying to stand up by holding onto the floor lamp and having the thing tip over and damage said baby. Also floor lamps never fit anywhere you put them. No matter where I place them, they just look wrong. And after a few weeks they get wobbly. Probably from me moving them all over, trying to make them fit.

looks those creepy tripod space thingies in War of the Worlds

6. NO TOUCH LAMPS. Or clap lamps . Or sensor lamps.

7. Must not look like a hotel lamp or like it came out of a bordello.

I'm pretty sure this one did not come from Walmart

8. Must have a switch on the lamp, NOT on the cord. Cord switches are a pain and sooner or later the switch breaks.

9. Must be a neutral color. ( just not white-I think I mentioned that) Beige, tan, black, terra cotta, are all good. Nix on any blue , red, yellow ( I don't care if they call it " melon" or " butter" - its still freaking YELLOW) or pink. Sorry James , I know how much you love pink. And oh, NOT chrome. Chrome is for taps and toilet handles.

yep some of you might think this lamp is cool.

But it breaks several of my criteria - chrome, touch lamp and...um where the heck is the light bulb?

UBER PINKNESS!And it's a motion light. Gee I'm beginning to think I am no fun at all

10. Must have a sturdy , preferably weighted bottom. Not something James and I can easily knock over while tripping over our own feet. Which we tend to do a lot of, as we get older.

11. Lamp must shaped like a lamp, NOT like an animal or object. Elephants are cute - in India. No eagle, dogs or other creatures.( shudder)

Are they kidding??

breaks several of my criteria..dear God please don't let James see this lamp

12. No flowers, no plaid,no checkered, no animal prints, no shells, no tree trunks.

Okay I better stop there. The internet is full of weird lamps! haha

PS I meant to post this last night but somehow it didn't post and went into draft instead. Blogger and me don't always get along

The cutest things!

2010-02-21T23:12:00.000-08:00

I am having fun looking at blogs. Made by creative gals of all ages, with photos ( often their own) of all sorts of pretty things, of their sewing efforts and their decorating efforts. I love peeking into other people's worlds and rooms! My latest fad is shabby chic and vintage. I think this generation of young women have taken vintage and improved it. What was merely old fashioned to us, is now works of art. There is art in darn near anything if you look for it!!

Cute little girls room
( from Notes From My Days blog )
I'm sure this creative gal made all of these pretties

from the same cute blog:

Isn't this so cute??! Hey Star now you know what to make me for Christmas ( hint, hint) haha

this one is just for you Roxie! Do you still like strawberries? This is a sewing machine cover. Gee I thought that's what CATS are for! haha

Feeling Better PTL!!

2010-02-20T23:55:00.000-08:00

I'm feeling ever so much better ! I'm sure it's from all the prayers and warm thoughts sent my way! I think I'd feel COMPLETELY better if I could sleep for a week. With my fluffy quilt and my soft red fuzzy blanky and my two favorite pillows and my bunny.

I found these cute kitties and thought I'd post them for a smile or two. They certainly gave me chuckle.

I'm missing my kitty. I knew I should have smuggled Jer and Tash's kitties. And fetched my kitty from the pound . I'd have to dress them up in a baby clothes and pretend they are grandbabies. Or I could try to carry off " they're really stuffed animals" .

Surving a Migraine Storm

2010-02-20T06:29:00.000-08:00

THE HEADACHE is back. It rudely woke me up at 5 am this morning. I think I should start naming them, like they do hurricanes. I feel sometimes like through the whole physical thing it takes me through, is like hanging onto a leaky raft at sea. I hang on desperately at times, other times I shake my fist at the stormy sky, other times I just drift along peacefully, thanking the Lord for a respite. When the headache is over, when the clouds have finally cleared away, I have such a clarity. That first day without it, I see colors clearer, sounds are more distinct, music is more beautiful. I notice everything - the way a clump of snow clings to a tree branch with one last stubborn leaf hanging on , the incredible blueness of the sky, the sweet sound of a solitary bird. I've grown to see this as the gift that comes after the migraine, after my body has gone through it's storm and survived again. With this second wave I can hope the end of it is near, if it follows it's usual patterns.

Lately I've really been noticing how adversity can shape your perspective of life, and not always in a negative way. I suppose part of it is about human nature and a part of it is about choices. God gave us both, which I think is a pretty incredible thing for God to give us teeny little humans . He didn't have to give us choice. He could have made us like insects , who go through their lives blindly following instinct. Insects don't know what is wrong and right, they don't experience joy and laughter. Some say we are merely a sum of our parts, that we are as blind as that bug crawling up the bark of a tree, unknowing that it is soon to be eaten. I don't see it that way at all.

I write my best stuff during and right after a time of turmoil or grief or sickness. I make my best decisions after I have weathered a storm and have that brief surge of triumph that yes, I , a mere human, survived it! I hate the pain, the illness, the sorrows in life, yet they kind of shape me - it seems the very act of going through it and surviving is part of our journey into growing into a better person. And afterwards if I close my eyes, I can almost feel " the brush of angel wings" and the brief sweet scent of a delicate flower, to remind me, angels are closer than we think.

I know I usually don't get too "religiously personal" in this blog, but today I felt I needed to say this:
Talk to God. I cannot reach into the lives of each of you, and sweep away the worries, the troubles, the hurts , the tears. Oh how I wish I could. But He IS there for each of you. You don't have to do anything complicated to reach out to Him, to feel His presence. You see He created you. Just as you are. I believe with all of my being that He loves each of you dearly. God has helped me through many a storm. He has helped me learn , to not only cope, but to do more than just hang on, to be triumphant in it. So please, sometime in today, just whisper to Him "I'm here. Please help me. " Just that simple.

A couple cool graphics site

2010-02-19T11:59:00.000-08:00

I'm having some fun finding free cool blog graphics ! Thought I'd share a couple of links with you gals!
If anyone wants their blog name added to a " header" graphic, let me know , I can do that for you.

Cute N Cool by itkupilli

Penniwigs

Elegia's Background Garden

Izzie Grace Blog Backgrounds

The Background Fairy

Projects

2010-02-18T03:36:00.000-08:00

I love projects. Craft projects, decorating projects, rearranging projects, you name it. Unfortunately I'm a great starter but not so great at the finishing of said projects. I think I've mentioned before that I have the attention span of a gnat. Not that any of you noticed that right? ( did I hear a very unladylike snort?) So my project for the remainder of this winter, is for me to actually start and finish projects that I want to do. I've been busily organising my ~~junk~~ treasures and labelling where they are. Once we get the Great Emptying Of The House, I hope to do another sort, and refine the whole organising project. I have scads of wonderful craft supplies and scrapbooking supplies and sewing stuff. The fun thing about all this sorting is re-discovering all of these ~~things~~ treasures ( and also a few head scratches and mutterings of " why did I keep THIS?) The other cool thing is that some of my ~~crap~~ treasures are now considered vintage! So the tacky birdcages STAY - sorry girls. AND I might add some tackier birds and flowers in them. After spray painting them some wonderfully frou frou color, possibly with glitter. Shinies!!

Anyways I digress ( like I never do that either) Since I have a camera that occasionally remember how to use I am going to ~~attempt to~~ chronicle my projects. Yes I actually used the word chronicle. hehe If you're real lucky you'll get to see the picture of what I hope to create, the before picture and the finished project , which hopefully, will somewhat resemble the picture of what I hoped to create.

An added bonus, if I forgot which project I am supposed to be working, I can just check my blog and flit off again into creativity.

Okay I'm not really doing this lamp as a project, I just wanted to scare you a bit. buhahahahaha!

Some Purty Bedrooms

2010-02-17T01:15:00.000-08:00

Pottery Barn

Valentine's Day Cuteness

2010-02-12T22:27:00.000-08:00

In honor of upcoming Valentine's Day

I love you all!!

Happy Birthday Natasha!

2010-02-11T23:05:00.001-08:00

myspace layouts

Yay! Feeling better!!

2010-02-06T01:16:00.000-08:00

Yay, so we have survived yet another month (sorry I totally missed the first week of February so I am pretending it never happened) and I am (HALELUJAH) feeling much better! As near as I can figure the whole flu thing sent my twitchy immune system into overdrive, thus the dreaded cramps and other weird issues that I won't even mention. Had a GREAT sleep last night ( and dreamt about a planet of cat people. Not people who like cats. People who ARE cats. Yeah weird huh?) We managed to accomplish a fair bit today and poor James was pretty tuckered out . I hope his movie put him to sleep. The news was making me mad ( it usually does these days) so I actually turned OFF the tv and decided to look at a few decorating sites and then head to bed uncharacteristically early. Which means in about 5 minutes, I hope. Now that might not be early for some, but when you've spent four or five nights not sleeping, it seems early. I am an ever so much nicer person when I get my sleep. ( all my kids know what I can be like if I'm sleep deprived)

I love sites with pictures of decorated rooms. Especially the ones of rooms where people actually live in them. I love the creativity, the diversity, the color schemes, the shiny, the sleek and the cute - pretty much all styles are fun to look at. I favor a country meets shabby chic meets garage sale in our place. But I love looking at pictures of other styles. The new " vintage" colors and designs are amazing. A mix of old and new and neutral and bold .

Anyways I came across a site that had some pictures of nurseries you all might coo at . They came off a site where Madonna and Angelina Jolie probably buy their baby stuff because only they could afford it, but hey its fun to look! They boast such things as " organic crib mattresses" and "boudior" pillows ( an "accent" of course) and you can buy paint off their site to match the whole baby ensemble. Some of my favorites:

How adorable are these? Of course any self respecting toddler could trash these rooms in five minutes. Which is why one would enjoy them while they can, while baby is sleeping and not walking yet.

Oh heres the site if you want to look and drool:

Serena and Lily

So I'm off to sleep, hopefully NOT to dream.

a poem...

2010-02-04T05:00:00.000-08:00

I have tears leftover

in a tiny chipped bottle

placed carefully

in a heart shaped box

wrapped in a battered piece of tissue paper

They are there

at the edge of my mind

right beside the chipped ballerina figurine

and the feather left by a long gone dove

the rain drips down my cracked window pane

blurring my eyes

I wrap myself in the torn comforter

I keep trying to throw away

but I pull it out

and wash it

and once again pieces fall off it

but it wraps around me like an old friend's arms

and if I close my eyes

I can hear a whisper

"It's okay. You can breathe."

Quilty stuff

2010-02-03T02:50:00.000-08:00

I'm sitting here missing you all so much it darn near hurts. Well actually I do have a headache. As usual. I think I'm allergic to town. Yep that's gotta be it. I need to be hauling in wood and tossing it into a wood stove and walking / wading out in the snow and taking pictures of sky and trees. Or at the mall with all my gals. With an unlimited credit card ( hey one can dream). Not sure which.

Okay so Roxie's blog got me thinking of quilting. I've made a few nice quilts in my time and made a few that I basically threw them out because I made so many mistakes I could only salvage a few pieces of material. Quilts are wonderful. They are cheerful and homey and keep you warm and provide a cozy wrap for babies and a place for cats to sleep. I know a gal who sews quilts by hand. I would call her a quilt artist.

Here are a few quilts that caught my eye on the net:

This one is called Whimsy.

Mrs. Schmenkman Quilts

I LOVE the colors and design...but it does make me a tiny bit dizzy...

Aren't the little birds here and there so darling?

Made by Red Pepper Quilts

A polka dot baby quilt - tooo CUTE!

made by And Other Silly Things in the Studio

and she even has a tutorial for it here

This amazing quilt is apparently named " Dancing with my Mother"

Done by Elizabeth Williams

a true artist!!

I had to include some crazy quilts piecings. I have loved crazy quilts as long as I can remember. Whenever I see them I think of Victorian women, sitting in their parlour by the warmth of a fireplace, carefully stitching each part.

Well enough cuteness for today! Hope you enjoyed this little glimpse of quilt art! SMILE!

Return of The Evil Leg Cramps

2010-01-31T03:32:00.000-08:00

The dreaded Evil Leg Cramps have returned.This is my third night of no sleep, the fourth night since the return of the Evil Leg Cramps. Tonight it's actually kind of by choice. I already have them and I'm not even lying down. So going to bed seems ridiculous, because if I do finally doze off I will have bizarre terrifying dreams during which I wake up James babbling gibberish, ranting wildly about the controls to an airplane that I could see clearly above our bed. I've had some wonderful MONTHS of hardly any problems with it. Now it crops up AGAIN! I had upped a medication that has some side affects I hate, just to achieve this state of no leg cramps so I am ticked at my body that they have returned. I have been racking my brain trying to figure out exactly what I did or ate that set them off. Too much sugar? Not enough water? Allergy pills ( that I've taken before with no problem ) affecting me weirdly? I would fast, drink ten gallons of water, and sneeze my head off for hours, if I thought it would help. I googled it and it just made me more frustrated. ( The medical term for my problem is called " Restless Leg Syndrome"- what cruel IDIOT thought of that name??!!) Most web sites have these lists of things not to have, to hopefully not set off an "episode". None of which I do. And if one more person tells me glibly to take potassium, eat bananas, drink milk, take calcium ( and /or whichever vitamin their great Aunt Thelma swears will cure leg cramps) or any herbal remedy I will scream! I've been having these stupid attacks since I was a kid. Believe me I've tried it all! Going off sugar, going off dairy, going off wheat, going off gluten, taking kelp capsules, quinine , and even anti seizure meds. ( no they didn't help and I gladly stopped taking them).

I have a feeling that if I finally get a GOOD nights sleep I may think more clearly. Possibly more calmly? I have the added complication of noisy neighbors. Now I am sure that said neighbors are not deliberately slamming doors, stomping their feet, playing their country music so loud I can hear the lyrics, or getting their little squeaky toy dog to bark madly anytime anyone farts. Its the normal noise one hears in a building where umpteen other people live. Unfortunately when one has not slept for longer than 15 minutes for several nights, and one finally passed out on the couch, these sounds feel like rockets shooting through the living room. And the living room couch is where I will be sleeping , if I do sleep. Which is directly under the room where Turbo Toddler does his four times daily hallway runs . Even earplugs don't block out that .

So I have decided to read blogs that make me smile and laugh, look at funny kitten videos, and watch some disaster movies ( I need prep for the whole 2012 thing). Then when James gets up I will stumble to bed and hopefully the exhaustion will knock me out for one of my famous daytime sleep ins. Thankfully I have soundproofed our bedroom enough that with some music played on low, I can sleep pretty good once I pass out. Gagh! I have a whole list of things I wanted to do tommorow. Sleep got bumped up to the top. If I don't sleep I will barricade myself in the room till my psychotic break is finished and I'm sort of back to normal. As normal as I ever get....

By the way did I mention I got our bedroom looking darned pretty now? I will take pictures once I find my camera ( I put it in a safe place but I can't remember it at this moment) James made me a lovely closet, with cubicles and such. Somehow I always feel better if my closets look good.

PS : What good luck in finding the perfect pic for this post huh?

Weird and Wonderful slash Creepy Gifts

2010-01-29T02:50:00.000-08:00

For the person who has everything -- A Dragon teapot.

Why does this thing make me think ewwww?

"How to get arrested in an airport or subway station"

How clever. Combining the love of purses with the love of guns.

I wouldn't have thought of it. I guess that's why I don't make the big bucks.

Bar Maid Mug

This is actually a vintage collectible made by Goebel.

Worth a fair little chunk of change.

This little darling is so creepy I almost decided not to post him.

Isn't he delightful? He's an ANTIQUE for gosh sakes! Can you

imagine mothers a hundred years ago buying this for their kid?

" Go to sleep NOW or I'll make you sleep with THE DOLL!"

" No Mommy, please, not the DOLL!"

Because weren't you just saying last week " I sure wish I had

a Mr T cookie jar!!

Okay I have to throw in a few cute things just so you don't go to bed

tonight with scary pictures in your brain.

Smiley face stress balls!! See, I'm smiling already!

Awwwwwwwwwwwww

OOPS! How did that get in there?

Well I have to admit, weird but also a great gift!

Haha

Love ya all!!!!

Just for Kayla

2010-01-21T02:37:00.000-08:00

Of course when I saw THIS one I thought of Kayla! haha

Go on this page to find it

http://trixinity.net/Marriage-graphics.shtml

Just for Tash

2010-01-21T02:33:00.000-08:00

I cracked up when I saw this one and immediately thought of Tash!! LOL

Go to this page to find it

http://trixinity.net/Marriage-graphics.shtml

About home...

2010-01-20T03:59:00.000-08:00

“A house is made of walls and beams; a home is built with love and dreams."

I've been thinking a lot about what a home is. There is something about the very word " home" that warms a person's heart. When I think of a home, I think of warm cozy things, of feeling safe, of feeling loved, of feeling secure. I think of a place where you can put your feet up and relax and be yourself. Where you can rummage in the fridge and walk around in your favorite tattered jammies and doze on the couch, where you can curl up wrapped in your favorite blanky and read a book and daydream.

But mostly when I think of home, I think of people. I think of memories and feelings and love . I think of conversation and laughter and sighs and even snoring. I've realized that wherever you are, can be a home to you, and that not only that, but home is not just one place. Any place your heart feels warm, is a home.

Home is not where you live, but where they understand you”

Christian Morganstern

Home is not only a place you go to, it is a place you come to, a place you hold in your dreams and thoughts, a place you aspire to, something you want to create. Where ever you are, where ever you live, your heart longs for home. Sometimes you can have the feeling of home in a tiny grubby room. Sometimes you can be in a lofty mansion and not feel a sense of home.

“Home is a place you grow up wanting to leave, and grow old wanting to get back to”

John Ed Pearce

“I long, as does every human being, to be at home wherever I find myself.”

Maya Angelou

Home is the place you go to , to heal, to nourish yourself, to think, to rest, to dance, to sing and to sleep. It's where you go after a hard day of work, where you go to confide your problems in someone, where you go to get a hug and a kind word. Home is where you go to pray.

“Home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in.”

Robert Frost

Home is a cat curled up beside a pile of newspapers, a dog thumping it's tail at you as you come in the door, a crackling fireplace where you can warm your feet, a hammock to lazily nap in during the summer heat. It is all of those things and yet really none of them. Because home is about more than things.

“Home is the place where it feels right to walk around without shoes”

Home is about privacy, a space of your own, a place to reflect. But home is also a place you bring people to. For a home to be a real home, is to include others, to " make them feel at home", to share yourself and your own little space in the world. Too often, when we feel battered by the world we make our home into our own little fortress, to shut people out. We feel a temporary sense of security in that, but not true happiness. As humans we are designed to want to make a home.

We are designed to be a part of a community, to reach out to others.

Home is a safe place to be social, to learn how to bond with others, to learn to trust and accept others. Even the very act of letting others in, of letting them stretch at our boundaries, makes us grow as a person. And if we don't grow, don't love, don't reach out, we are safe, but lonely.

“Home is where you can say anything you please, because nobody pays any attention to you anyway”

Joe Moore

There have been many times in my life when I pulled myself into my shell and made my home my castle, safe from the world. Subconsciously I shut people out, not because I didn't want them close, but because I wanted to be safe, and I didn't want to risk failure. Because solitude seemed safer, more comfortable.

“When you're safe at home you wish you were having an adventure; when you're having an adventure you wish you were safe at home”

Thornton Wilder

Of course there are times when we do need that time alone , just to relax, to refill and refuel. I've seen many people, especially young couples, stretch their boundaries a bit too much, and let people trample over them.

Sometimes a guest may stay too long, or try to rearrange your home ( furniture AND feelings!)

That's a learning process too. You will learn. How you say no is just as important as how you say yes. How to set boundaries but also how to make others welcome in your home, is something that takes trial and error to learn.

If you don't take risks how can you learn? If we want our home to be warm and cozy and welcoming, for us as well as visitors, we have to learn , usually as we go along. I can tell you, from experience, its worth every uncomfortable feeling, every frustration. Remember, home is more about people we care about , than things.

Which brings me to why I have rambled on about this topic. You've probably figured out that the topic of "HOME" has been in my thoughts a LOT in the last year. I've had to do a lot of self examining and TONS of praying. I want to learn from this, whatever God wants to teach me. I rarely think " Oh God MADE this all happen to teach me something" It seems to me, that the God that I love doesn't go around deliberately hurting His kids just to teach them some obscure lesson. I believe we were put on this earth to live LIFE and life is not always easy, and usually doesn't cooperate with all of our plans. What I believe is that God can take any situation and turn it around , that He will give us the coping skills we need, if we let Him, that He will give us hope , and even joy and that He will teach us. Otherwise we'd go through life, randomly tripping over crappy stuff, stubbing our toes, crying, getting scared, having to climb over stone walls, and all for nothing! I don't believe one single tear is for nothing.

So I asked God, " Teach me". I used to be afraid to ask God that! I wasn't too crazy about some of the methods He seemed to favor in teaching me. Now I've learned I HAVE TO trust Him.

I digress. I discovered something, a wonderful secret. I held it to my heart as one of the treasured nuggets of truth I will learn in my life. Home isn't just a house, a place, a bed, favorite furniture or even my pets. Where is home? Home is in this little apartment, with my favorite things around me. But " home" for me is also at my kid's houses, at my relatives houses ( well the relatives I love ) at my friends houses. They, these people I love, created a feeling of warmth in my heart. They opened up their homes to me, welcomed me and my heart mate, gave us smiles and laughter and conversation. They let me sit in their spot on the couch!

They shared their pets and their children and their laptops and even their fridges! And in doing all that, they lessened my grief and they healed a space in my heart that I didn't know was wounded. Their homes ( your very homes) warmed because they welcomed us, they created a home and then brought us safely in. I came home with a new perspective of our home, of what made our house a home for us, of what it meant, in the memories and many other good things , things that came with us, along with the boxes and bins. And I discovered also that somehow , in all the chaos and stress and worry and tears and the carrying of heavy boxes, somehow we brought HOME with us! So this is one lesson I am learning ( and I am quite sure God has a lot more to teach me on this subject!)
Thank you dear ones, for making it home to me wherever I go.

This ones for Starla

2010-01-19T02:34:00.001-08:00

Starla I saw this button and I had to show you! haha
If you click on it, it will take you to the site to get it onto your blog. If you have any probs let me know.

On the topic of who is listed or being " followed" on my blog

2010-01-17T02:48:00.000-08:00

Doesn't the word " following" make you think of a stalker. " Hey friend, I saw your blog and I want you to know....(creepy pause) ...that I am your follower." Okay so thats not how it's meant, I'm sure ( furtively glancing over shoulder in a paranoid manner) When someone "follows" your blog , they mean they like it and will put it on their list of blogs they like, so they know where your blog is and what your latest post is. Which I like. But something has occurred to me recently ( okay fine so it takes me a while to get something SHUSH) . Anyways I figured out there's not a whole lot of privacy on the internet! Go figure huh? Now I'm not all worried about privacy , except in the bathroom , although I don't like to spread my name around the internet or accept total strangers on Facebook. But the privacy I worry about is the grandkid's , my kids' ( and kids in law/love) and my kids friends. But listing a blog as me " following" them I put their blog links out there in " public domain" for anyone to go to their blog if they find mine. Now I don't mind one whit if someone finds my blog and reads it ( hopefully with a chuckle). But I think all you dear people whose blogs I like have the right to choose WHO goes to your blog and whether you want your blog listed publically. So I took off the blog lists and I put most of the blogs on " private". So I know where you are, but a random visitor to my blog won't.

So don't panic if you don't see a link to your blog on my blog. I did not " unfriend" you or " unfamily" you. I just made some ( belated) steps to make your blogs more private. Now if you decide you'd like your blog listed on my blog "publicly" and want me to show a link to your blog on my blog, just let me know. Email me ( okay I'm sorry I only check it once a week, I"m trying to get better) or better yet phone me! Or if I have a blog of yours listed and you want it off let me know. I'll still have the links to your sites in my " dashboard" so I can find you . Mostly ( sorry Kayla I'm getting early alzheimers I think...what was I saying?)

I'm just learning I CAN do these things and HOW to do them , and more importantly how to UNDO ( hehehe)

PS: from this point on , all grandchildren will be referred to with pet names to keep their real names anonymous. Okay I'm kidding...hmmmm....might be an idea for later contemplation.

If you understand any or all of this blog, please honk your horn twice at midnight.

HAPPY HAPPY NEW YEAR!! ( be mushy)

2010-01-06T00:44:00.000-08:00

I just had two of THE best 2 weeks of my life. Or at least the best of 2009. Which wasn't too hard but I digress...
I have to say that a month ago, the only thing I was looking forward to about the New Year, was that 2009 would finally be over. I kind of lost my perspective on life and was thinking that the glass was not only NOT half full, but that it had only a few sticky dribbles and a cracked rim. I even wished I could cancel Christmas this year ( which is definitely not like me). The decorations, the sparkly stuff, the cheesy Christmas songs - none of it pulled me in like it usually does. I even watched Miracle on 34 Street and White Christmas and it only made me feel sad. At one point I was reduced to sitting at my computer playing " Where Are You Christmas?" repeatedly on Youtube and bawling my eyes out. I was fed up with myself but couldn't seem to pull out of it. Which I realize now was okay for me to feel. When you go through sad stuff and loss and a lot of worries you can't just pretend you're not feeling that way. You might be able to put up an act and fool other people, but you can't fool yourself, and you usually can't fool the people who love you.

When James said we were going to Edmonton for Christmas, part of me thought he was crazy. I worried that neither of us could pull ourselves together enough to not pull everyone else down. I worried that we were so emotionally worn out that we'd fight all the way there and be snapping at each in front of our family ( I have a horror of that) I worried that I had nothing to offer anyone , that I was just this sick grumpy forgetful old lady who would get on everyone's nerves. I worried that we'd get halfway there and land in an avalanche and die slowly in a small mountain of snow and they wouldn't find our bodies until spring. ( obviously I have been watching way too many disaster movies) I worried that our car would break down and we'd be stranded in some dirty greasy truck stop waiting until the new year for the town's only mechanic to fix our car ( oh wait that actually happened to me once) James and I have gotten darned good at worrying. Once the worries get a hold of you it's like trying to get out of the jaws of a rabid pitbull . If you don't fight it, the darned things chew on you and chew on you ( interesting metaphor huh?)

But we decided to take our courage ( and a small mountain of luggage) in hand and bravely face the elements and drive to Edmonton and I am so very glad we did. Turns out this Christmas wasn't about the lights and music ( which I got to experience and enjoy plenty of) . It was about being with people we love, and who love us back. Sounds like a simple thing but it really is the most important thing. And exactly what we needed. Everyone gave us the perfect gift - themselves.

I wanted to thank you all for that. And for just being yourselves. I don't know if you know how unique and sweet and wonderful each one of you are ( especially the children-smile) and if that is mushy, so be it. Because my main New Years Resolution is:

BE MUSHY!

New Blog look!

2010-01-04T18:19:00.000-08:00

Okay I did it, I changed my blog to a sort of vintage look, which I think is going to be fun! Let me know what you all think!

December Night Ramblings

2009-12-15T04:03:00.000-08:00

I can't believe December is halfway over and Christmas is only ten days away! Our weather seems to be making up for the lost time in November. I know there is a scientific explanation of this, but where the heck is this " global warming" they keep talking about? I'm not used to the electric heat . I just had a nosebleed that went off and on for almost two hours. I'd just think "Okay it's all done and I can go to bed" then of course I blow my nose and whoosh! ( sorry if that's too much info) I am going to break down and put this yucky gel stuff in my nose tommorow, it helps " hydrate" my nose ( who knew noses could need hydrating and isn't hydrating a cool word?) I'm not complaining though, because I keep thinking that there are homeless people out there, who might not have a nice warm place to sleep and a cup of hot chocolate to warm their insides. And I'm thinking of people who have to wake up every hour or so to stuff wood into their wood heaters to keep the cold at bay and animals who have to sleep outside in this bitter cold.I'm thankful that I also have a warm hubby to snuggle up with ( I try very hard not to put my cold hands on his back) I lost half of a plant because I had it close to a window, poor thing is all lopsided now.

Where are the darned hot flashes when I need them?

Why Cats Attack Christmas Trees

2009-12-08T21:52:00.000-08:00

This one is for you Tash! haha

LOL

2009-12-08T04:01:00.000-08:00

Missing our furry friends

2009-12-04T02:30:00.000-08:00

So today the last of our furry friends is gone. We took Purrdy to the shelter. She rode in my coat in the car and was so good and they said she was pretty and should be adopted quickly. I think they said that so I wouldn't cry, but ah well. I shed my tears tonight after James was in bed, he would have understood but he was feeling so sad himself, so I hung in there. I am missing Dylan and Katie so much and I even dreamed about our dear little dog Max . Someone suggested I should volunteer at the SPCA and I might do that once things have settled down some. We found out today that the market here HAS dropped so whether we sell the house or not is totally in God's hands. I just know there is the perfect person out there for it. Anyhoo I'm going to end this post before I depress you all , I'll perk myself up with some funny baby videos on Youtube and think of how good it will be to hug all of you at Christmas time!! And then to our comfy bed.

What Kind of Christmas Cookie Am I?

2009-12-04T02:00:00.001-08:00

You Are a Jam Filled Cookie

You are an idea person. You're always thinking up something new.

You're also quite persuasive. People are drawn to you and adopt your beliefs.

You are energetic and ambitious. But most of all, you are charming.

You are a natural leader, and you are ready to lead!

What Holiday Cookie Are You?

Blogthings: Our Quizzes Weren't Written By Bored 12 Year Olds

Okay I don't think I am a natural leader but I do think I am sweet and mushy on the inside! haha

Christmas Cuteness ( yes I'm addicted to it)

2009-11-29T00:51:00.000-08:00

In keeping with my yearly Weird Christmas Theme

2009-11-25T00:20:00.000-08:00

A CHRISTMAS TOILET! I never thought of that!!! hahaha

Davey says this one is NOT that weird but please don't make him try to do it because he has betters to waste , erm I mean, spend his time

Hmmm I wonder what this could be......

I got snow on my page!

2009-11-24T22:39:00.000-08:00

Yes such things delight me as having snow drifting down on my page and now I am switching to Christmas music! Once again if the music bugs you scroll down to the bottom of the page and turn it off or you could let me know it bugs you....can't turn off the snow though. Sorry it's on till New Years Day.

Been thinking of our friends Dennis and Roxanne and missing our wood stove and the country smells of winter so my pics today will reflect me missing them. Smile!

Christmasy Chuckles

2009-11-23T02:30:00.000-08:00

I'm sure this has to be in Quesnel somewhere.

The finally found the perfect gift!!

Okay a tiny bit creepy but in a haha kind of way

absolutely no title that I can think of...

2009-11-21T23:02:00.001-08:00

The Thing That Is Happening

2009-11-21T02:44:00.000-08:00

Okay so this is a blog, and as such, I know that anyone " out there" on the internet could stumble across my blog and could read my personal thoughts and such, and somehow it could ruin my life, or worse, ruin my family's life or worse, embarrass me. So of course I try not to share too many details of whats going on in our lives and whatever weird twist the universe is putting on it. Realistically, I know I'm not really that important that a little bit of over sharing on the world wide web could be that important. And I'm pretty sure only my family and friends read this blog and I'm quite happy to keep it that way. So I will phone all of you and talk in your ear until you have to fake a bathroom break to get me to hang up. Wait I've already done that! hahaha

But in the meantime I will refer to " our situation" as " The Thing That Is Happening". ( If you read this before I phone you, no I am not pregnant and no one is going to jail , just in case you wonder) We are not the only people on the planet to go through stuff like this, in fact plenty of people have it way worse ( and I sure wish with all my heart that wasn't so) and they get up every morning and put their socks on one foot at a time and face their day with courage and fortitude ( isn't that a lovely word?) Which is what I tell myself any time I am having a stress melt down and feeling like I'm blindly bumping into walls and bruising my nose. Sometimes it takes a couple of hours of praying, lecturing myself and trying to center my emotions to a better place, before I can look at things without feeling that any minute now an anvil is going to fall out of a plane and land on my head.

I guess it's about perspective. Am I a half empty or half full person? What can I do in this situation to keep my dignity and sense of self worth, and more importantly, to serve God? How does God want me to think and act and feel in all of this? I do believe that God ( and perhaps a small team of diligent but frustrated angels?) has reminded me of that all through my life. For instance , now that my children are grown up, am I likely to think " Gee I am so glad I bought that gorgeous dress in 1988"? Or am I more likely to rememeber the cute and adorable things my kids did, and that movie I watched with my best friends when we all cried until we laughed, and that time when that wonderful couple in our church paid our electric bill when Peter was out of work? It makes no difference what color scheme I had in our kitchen in the various places we lived, but I remember the bedtime stories. ( I miss them) and dancing in the rain and making snow angels.

I guess some of this remembering things is becoming a choice. But it has taken me a long time to realize that. I won't go on and on about this, but , though we can't always block out the bad memories we can choose in our mind, which ones WILL be important to us and which ones will be shoved into a tattered old box in the corner of a closet where only the spiders go!

So right now, I am making memories. Each day, each moment. And later down the road I want to remember how I handled this, how I trusted God, how I prayed and saw God's hand in every day, and how I learned!

I can't change this situation. I can't change it for hundreds of people in our town and thousands of people in our province. But I can change me. Consciously each day. Live it as it comes. Every time I'm feeling that sense of panick I'm going to close my eyes for a brief second and picture my little child hand, safely held in God's large hand.

I'm not sure how I am going to do this of course! haha. THAT is thing that I am apparently supposed to learn!

I want you all to know this - God loves each one of you. His hand is there for you too. Whenever you feel alone, you aren't. Because I am over here praying for you, and sending love ( and extra angels) your way.

By the way , whenever The Thing That is Happening is getting to me and I need some emergency prayers I will fly over to this blog or the phone and cry out SOS!! Pray for me and tell me I'll be okay ( repeatedly if necessary)

I love you all sooooo much. Lots of hugs and kisses sent your way!!

Gumdrop Ornaments

2009-11-20T12:47:00.000-08:00

One year we acquired a set of gum drop square shaped ornaments. They were made out of hard plastic but evidently the children and the dogs thought they were realistic looking because every year one would get gnawed on. One by one the poor gum drop ornaments got destroyed. At first it annoyed me. As the years went on it became more and more humorous to me. It was like a secret war I carried on, trying to save those poor gum drop people from being chewed on. When the children one by one moved out, there was only one left. I would pull it out each year and wax poetic about the poor tattered thing and put it high up on the tree so at least the dogs wouldn't finish it off. Well last year it was gone. I tore apart all the Christmas bins searching for it. Nowhere. Did someone eat it? Did it run away from home? ( to find it's other gumdrop family?) Somewhere in my search I realized something. The best Christmas ornaments are the memories.

flu-ing

2009-11-18T23:52:00.000-08:00

Okay so it's official, I have the flu. List of annoying symptoms:

neck hurts, mostly in the back
headache that throbs on both sides of my head in sporatic bursts
actually every part of my body hurts , in a different way for each body part...or so it seems
NAUSEA! There are few times in my life where I would like to puke and get it over with and this is one of them. ( aren't you glad I shared that with you?)
Low fever
Hot then cold then hot then cold then - you get the drift
Stomach ache

Now do I go to the doctor to get tested so I can brag that I got the 2009 swine flu? If so, what possible difference can it make, except for having an excuse to lay in bed and moan dramatically and make heaving sounds when I smell food ? Should I ask for Tamiflu or just grin and bear it? I'm of the mind to just stay home , hydrate ( isn't that a cool word? hydrate. I'm not drinking lots of water out of my favorite chipped mug. I'm hydrating) If I go out , I could give whatever it is to some innocent person , or worse, to a child. Which reminds me. James and Davey might get it. Oh Lord, nursing TWO sick men. Good thing I have that dentist appointment to go to next week...

Oh good news. I don't think it's a migraine.

More cute Christmas stuff

2009-11-18T21:49:00.000-08:00

Just for you Tash!

I LOVE the PHONE!!

Fun Christmas Stuff to Chase away the blahs

2009-11-18T15:23:00.000-08:00

arg

2009-11-14T08:55:00.000-08:00

Migraine. GAAGHH! Hate them. So far not as terrible as some have been ( the summer ones seem to be much worse) I knocked myself out to sleep last night, hoping I'd wake up without it. Staggered out of bed at freakin 7 am , head pounding, eyes hurting, (little men tapping at the back of my eyeballs with spiky hammers) and feeling dizzy and pukey. I hate the pain of these things but I also hate the way they rob me of a day. The only way to deal with them is to find a quiet dark place to lay down with an ice pack at the back of my head. I get reeeallly grumpy and sensitive to light and noise. Hmm maybe this will be the day I finally dash upstairs and scream at the neighbor to make her kid stop banging on the floor and/or running up and down the halls with shoes on. Probably not though because any time I get a bit irritated at her I remember that I WAS her, only with many more little feet running.

We had a bit of a snowfall yesterday. Just enough to show a bit of white, kind of pathetic really. Not enough to make me feel in a Christmas mood, and I really want to feel in a Christmas mood. Of course these stupid migraines make me grumpy so if it snowed I'd probably be mad at it anyways. lol Anyways I'm off to watch a Christmas movie and try to rest.

Love and miss you all!!

Weird and Wonderful-Duct Tape Roses

2009-11-12T17:41:00.000-08:00

I love crafts. Most crafts. But this one I think I'll leave to " the experts"

http://www.instructables.com/id/Duct-Tape-Rose/

Internet fun

2009-11-12T13:12:00.000-08:00

I am sooo enjoying this new high speed ( and wireless , thanks to Davey and his technoligic wizardry) . I confess I'm getting an addiction to countless pictures of cute dogs, cute cats and cute babies. And Youtube. My day is no longer complete unless I watch a laughing baby or see a cat or dog do something hilarious. I can window shop on Ebay and various stores online and I can even hear music! I can see facebook and blog and I don't have to try sixteen times to something to post! yay! I have discovered all sorts of lovely christian music videos and listen to them before bed so I can hopefully NOT dream about the apocalypse ! ( my subconscious minds favorite theme)

"Honey it's not what you think!"

Christmas Theme

2009-11-09T00:51:00.000-08:00

Christmas trees never used to have a theme. ( or if they did I didn't notice) In " my day" your parents drove along a country road, looking for the right tree to steal , erm I mean borrow, from somebody's property. It was very exciting, pulling off, wading through hip deep snow, dragging an axe, to hack away at some poor spindly pine tree, then try to stuff it into or onto the car, and drive home with our stolen booty. Mom would watch her rear view mirror for fear of being arrested. It's actually one of my favorite memories, at the time I wished she'd go to a tree lot and BUY a tree, a nice bushy one with even branches. But now it's one of my favorite memories and makes me laugh thinking of it. One of my favorite years was when my stepdad/uncle was home for Christmas, so he came with us to find our tree. Of course, him being the man he had to do his duty of chopping down the chosen tree, so we pulled over, Daddy got out and plunged down the slope towards the chosen tree. Well Daddy had a bad knee, that gave out at the worst times, and this was one of them. He took about three steps and his knee gave out and down he went, head over tea kettle down the ditch! Finally at the bottom he sat up, looking stunned and caked with snow. Well Mom started to laugh. Then I started to laugh. Daddy tried to get up and give us this indignant look, and wouldn't you know, the old knee gave out again! Down he went, his curses, muffled by the snow in his mouth. By this time Mom was laughing so hard she was crying and I was laughing so hard I darn near wet my pants! My Dad finally got to his feet, propping himself on a tree and looked at us with disgust, obviously annoyed that we were laughing at him. Then his face changed, and he saw the humor in the whole thing, and he started to laugh!! I don't even remember if we got the tree that year, but that is one of my best memorie

Anyhow I started off to blog about Christmas themes. Every tree I knew, growing up, was a mix of tinself, lights with shiny foil behind them ( called reflectors) this itchy white stuff we called angelhair. We globbed it on the tree and it was a gauzy transparent looking stuff ( which of course I was terribly allergic to). There were usually a set of glass balls on the tree and a whole lot of home made ornaments , made out of popsicle sticks and such. Mom never had an angel for the top of the tree, she had a spire type start that stuck on the top.

I don't think I saw a theme type tree till I was a young adult. I admired the trees done in all pink, or all blue, but they seemed a bit lacking in warmth to me. I did get the whole thing about matching. I mean I can't go out the door unless my socks match, so matching is cool. Now there are so many different themes and I love them all. Well maybe not the Simpsons or Elvis theme but hey, whatever gets your sleigh going!

I always love Canadian Tire for themes.

Last year we found some beautiful dragonfly ornaments there. I forget if I bought the butterflies there or somewhere else. We love the romantic Victorian stuff. Of course the special ornaments are nestled in the branches as well, otherwise it just wouldn't be right. I went on their site and noticed they have these snowflake ornaments. I have a lot of these, I just love em. I usually hang them in our windows

I have a smallish tree that I've been collecting stuff for, to decorate in a Gingerbread theme, in the kitchen. James said , when we moved here " Oh we won't have enough room for that" and I gave him a dirty look and told him I'd MAKE room. haha
I saw these on their site, and I'm half tempted to get a few to use all year around, for photos.

Probably I won't buy any Christmas stuff this year, I'll just have fun looking. I think we have enough ornaments for four trees lol. Oh by the way, I have a delightly tacky little silver tree, donated to me by Jason, which will be decorated in purple and mauve. I'll take a pic!! Kayla I'll bet you remember that tree! Then of course there is my beloved Christmas village to set up! Jamesss, I need more shelves!

unpacking

2009-11-03T01:33:00.001-08:00

I hate moving. I don't care how slow , how fast, how much time I had to pack, how neatly I labelled boxes, its still crazy. There are some people who move and are unpacked and set up in a day. Don't know how they do it. Maybe they're lying.

All I know is that I keep losing essential items, or not finding them at all, or putting them in some random place that I thought I would remember at the time. So far the list has included can openers ( between us and Davey I think we have four of the darned things, yet they keep sprouting legs and wandering off) , scissors, ( I have at least ten pairs ...somewhere) pens and pencils, polysporin ( moving war wounds) and spaghetti seasoning. James is going a bit crazy about the mess erm I mean clutter.

If I start to rearrange he gets this panicky look, because he knows it will only get worse. Snicker. Poor man. He keeps coming up to me and saying " Do you know where _______ (insert name of item here) is?" And I go " No." And he stands there and looks at me for a minute, then wanders off , muttering. At which point I realize he was really asking me to PLEASE find it. Now we have at least 37 boxes of unpacked items in this place. Stacked artistically in various corners. But still he holds out hope that I can cheerfully say " Oh yes, that's in the right hand corner of the third box up, second row to the left, by the closet door." Please, I'm just happy I found the toilet paper!

He has taken to standing in the doorway of the "storage room" and saying in this hopeless voice "We have to somehow organise this." Really the man is wonderfully patient. I think I shall keep him hahaha. As long as I can find him.

Okay can't go to bed till I post some pictures to give you a chuckle.

Just for Jeremy and Jason! haha

2009-11-03T01:04:00.000-08:00

Okay it IS November so I get to start again with the last years tradition of posting weird and wonderful Christmas items on my blog. These are things that I find fascinating and /or disturbing ( and secretly would buy if I was an eccentric millionaire with no taste)

To start off this years collection is an Elvis tree topper. Seriously would his mother even like this??

Dragging along in second place is this " whimsical barnyard trio"..Hm wonder how much they are?

Okay one more. Hehe. Now you all know I love bells. But this one takes the ugly cake:

Settling In

2009-11-02T02:08:00.000-08:00

Whats with our family and moving so much lately? LOL

Had such a crazy week, but hey we're still here and okay and even laughing at life.

I did some nesting tonight - unpacked most of the living room, put books on the shelves, spread out my favorite emerald green area rug. The living room is looking quite cozy and comfy and my familiar clutter of pictures and candle holders feels reassuring. We hung our two favorite paintings and tommorow I'll hang some photos. I LOVE having the laundry closet right next to our kitchen! I'll take pictures once I get everything unpacked and in order. After all it will never be that clean again, so I'll need the photos to prove how it once looked! haha!

Anyways I just thought I'd do a quick post before I stagger / limp off to bed . Missing you all a lot!!

PS: I'm obssessed with cute cat, dog and baby pictures lately so heres a few of my favs:

just a mole

2009-10-23T01:54:00.000-07:00

Just a quick note to let everyone know that the thingy on my face is just a molish type of thing, NOT cancer! yay! Okay I'm sorry I didn't tell all of you about it, just didn't want anyone to worry over nothing. I had one whole stitch on my face and had a root canal the same day. Not my funnest day, but hey good to get it over with right?

tooo cute pic.....

2009-10-19T01:08:00.000-07:00

Okay this won't be a big post because I am sooooo tired but had to post this pic, just for Gabe, Noah, Lily and Andrew!

small update

2009-09-25T06:41:00.000-07:00

I am suprisingly cheerful for having been woken up at 4 am with the runs. ( is that overshare? haha) but took some meds and it's settling down. James and I are going to Prince George today to see a specialist who will tell us if and when James needs an operation on his neck. James is pretty scared. I'll let everyone know what the doctor says. ( I'm scared too)

We're going into the new place, hopefully in the next few days. Davey will probably be in by Saturday. Hopefull Shaw hooks up our phone, cable and internet. We had this huge problem with Telus who would NOT release our old phone number, so we will have a new phone number. I'll email you all with the new number and our new address. I'm not counting on any of it working the actual day they promise . It boggles me that these companies still expect people to sit around all day waiting for the tech guy to show up.

I'm excited about living with Davey again, living in town and being around people. I admit, sometimes it gets too quiet and lonely here, especially now that the dogs are gone. They were our furry babies! I told James " This will be the first time in my life I won't have a pet" and James said " You'll have a pet. You'll have Davey". hahaha I told Davey and he laughed and said " Well at least I'm partially house trained"

I am sooo happy that Kayla and Jason have adopted Katie. Bless Kayla for all the work caused by the new furry child!

I'm excited about Jeremy and Natasha coming up soon! Also super excited about Christmas! I hope I get to read The Night Before Christmas and the special nativity book to everyone on Christmas Eve ! I want to take Granny ( and everyone else who wants to come) on the bus to see Candy Cane Lane. Haven't seen it in many many years! I love you all sooooo much. I am the most blessed mommy and grandmommy!!!

Late night ramblings and emotional outbursts

2009-08-19T01:12:00.000-07:00

Yay! My blog works! I am getting frustrated with this slow internet thing and James poor little laptop is groaning to show a basic web site, let alone work with facebook or blog. I have resorted to trying to post after midnight. Which, isn't a terrible hardship, because, as most of you know, I don't come out of my coffin till 11 pm or later. But sometimes it doesn't work at all and I have this terrible flaw in my pysche ( did I spell that right). I get really really angry at anything mechanical or technical, whenever it doesn't work right . I do more repenting over things I have said at computers ( and vcrs and microwaves and yes, even coffee makers) then anything else in this universe ( politicians and evil bank owners are a close second). Today I epped out at my monitor because I couldn't unplug it from the computer. The plug got caught in the hole in my desk ( aka old door). I called it names and threw sticky notes. It unsettled James and the cat ( and I suspect , several birds in the tree outside) and then I had to ask James for help, after I'd turned the air blue over the offending monitor. He sidled over carefully ( trying not to make direct eye contact) and then he moved the wrong part and I had to cuss out the desk, at which point James got offended and gave me that look ( the you-are-being-unreasonable-and-emotional look) So I snapped at him and we spent two hours trying not to speak to each other because we're really much too tired and stressed to fight.

Anyways I am working on this flaw I have. Either that or start a support group for others like me. ( heh) So then, for a bit of relaxation I go onto the internet and yet another site doesn't work. ARG

Now that will be the good thing about moving to town. We will have " real" internet, and James is determined to buy me a new computer with all the bells and whistles ( or hopefully always works right so he never has to listen to another emotional tirade- hah, he can only hope) We dropped by Davey's place today and he was extolling the virtues of high speed internet ( he calls it something different , apparently there are many many forms of internet connections but I am a lowly apprentice in such matters) and how much fun I will have when we move to town and I hook up the uber computer that Davey is trying to convince James I should have. I'm pretty sure that nothing I will ever do on a computer requires something called " terabytes" but Davey assures us a terabyte is a wonderful thing. I showed Davey the list of computers we are considering and he perused it like a jeweler inspecting a rare diamond, then explained ( in as small of words as possible) what each feature was good for. I'd listen, nod and say " Oh okay. But will it show Youtube videos and mini videos of the grandkids?" and then he'd explain some more and I'd ask the same thing again. Bless Davey, he's so patient with me.

And bless my dear hubby, who loves me in spite of my occasional irrational outbursts and wants to give me something I can enjoy in the midst of all the chaos in our daily lives. We don't know from one day to the next how long we can live here, where we live , if James will work next week or whether he has surgery in the near future. I don't know yet whether I will " let" him buy this computer , I'm thinking it's a selfish thing for me to have, but he doesn't agree , and I suspect the dear man may come home one day with the computer. What he doesn't realize is that he is already giving me what I need the most - love. He cares how I feel and he never once tries to take out any of his hurts and frustrations and worries on me. He goes out that door each night and shovels wood chips because he loves me and wants to do what he can. You can get through a lot of things, if you know you have a partner beside you who really does love you.

Forgiveness

2009-08-09T03:00:00.000-07:00

Okay so here it is, in the wee hours, and I'm about to drag this tired sore body to bed, and thinking about forgiveness. Why am I thinking about forgiveness , in the wee hours of the morning, when my brain is foggy ( foggier than normal)? Well I find that when I've been very sick, like with one of these killer migraines, afterwards I feel like my mind is exhausted and my emotions are ripped up into tiny threads that don't make too much sense. My sleep patterns are messed up too. And put all that together and you can have one heck of a case of the blues. Its like all of my " postive energy" was funneled into surviving this episode and I am drained and susceptible to depression. AND with depression comes guilt. Now the guilt one gets with this kind of depression is not normal guilt. It's more like an omygodimsuchaloser type guilt, where you rehash every things you're ever done wrong and feel searing remorse and like what you did " wrong" was so much much worse than it really was. Sorry I'm taking a long time to make my point. But it is this , when we are sick, depressed , tired, scared, stressed , worried etc etc your conscience plays tricks on you. Its not REAL guilt, its exaggerated guilt , that is not in proportion to anything you did or didn't do.
And that's when I think of forgiveness. Because quite simply, God forgives me. Period. I pour out all the hurt, the agony of guilt and remorse and depresson and tell God I'm a mess and why did He make me into such a loser?!! And you see God being who God is , I KNOW in all of my being that I have been forgiven. For every little thing, for every big thing, for all of it, rolled up into a ugly smelly ball of used up string, all that He's forgiven. Now on top of that forgiveness , He looks at me and says " My child, it is forgiven, it is done." In my mind I can picture Him smiling, His voice gentle. Then he sends an angel to do his work on me, he tells me to rest, to sleep, to fill up my emotional tank.
Even if I don't listen, even if I can't quite pulled myself out of this messy painful mood, I know GOD has forgiven me. This is one VERY IMPORTANT THING I want to tell all of you whom I love very much, that I have lived as a Christian long enough , experienced God long enough to KNOW in every fiber of my being is that God has an endless fountain of FORGIVENESS. And when you feel this way, He's not looking down at you, like this long grey haired judge up in the sky, with a lightning bolt in his hand, saying " yes she is very very bad"
He sees how much we are hurting. The angels He sends to help us, know how much we are hurting. And He forgives. Like it was no big deal.It's okay. Now you have to start the job of refilling your emotional tank, of pulling yourself up, of trying to see what God sees in your mirror reflection - a child of his who is trying and hurting .
This is a lifeline to me, more than you can know! I have struggled with bouts of depression after I have been through a flare up of my illness, and I can pull myself out of the pit, and know I am forgiven. Instantly. By God. And if God doesn't think I should feel guilty then I can work on pulling myself up. I close my eyes each time and picture the angels hovering, touching me gently with their wings to renew my strength.
And all of you, the dearest people in the world to me, belong to God and He belongs to You and I wanted to tell you. Next time you feel anxious and in despair and depressed and scared and then slide into feeling like you are a "loser" and that you do everything wrong, just cry out " God please forgive me for everything I did wrong!! Forgive me for yelling at that crazy driver today. Forgive me for beating up that neighbor kid when I was four!" You can say anything you want to Him. And then He forgives!
I have to tell, it lifts so much weight off me, knowing that the Creator of the Universe, the big guy in charge, forgave me and thinks I'm okay .
Anyways I am tired now and going off to my soft pillow and think of all of you, wishing you were closer so I could have a cuppa coffee with you and tell you how special each of you are!!
And if this post is a weee bit mushy and rambling, remember I haven't slept in two nights . LOL

Evil Migraine

2009-08-08T00:47:00.000-07:00

Okay seriously, how long can one freaking migraine LAST? And is there someone I can yell at , scream or in any way berate because of it? Nope, it's nobody's fault, although I suspect the stupid thing menopause is part of it . I have informed God that I don't LIKE this " stage" of my life at all but He hasn't answered , being so busy with the universe and all that.

We get this lovely hot weather and I get the ominous warning signs - my arm hurts, my eyes got blurry and I feel like upchucking a moose. Now what good is a warning sign if you can't do a blasted thing about what's to come? So by next morning I woke up to these little invisible evil elves pounding railroad stakes into my forehead. I sit up , feel the pain, feel the instant of wave of nausea and go " Oh my God" and crawl back under the covers. Too late, the migraine woke up with me . I stagger out to the make myself a cup of coffee, glug down my migraine cocktail (zantac (stomach pill) advil, gravol, painkiller, muscle relaxant and lorazepam) Grabbing a gel icepack ( whoever invented those I am leaving you something in my will) I stagger back to the bedroom, resisting the impulse to shriek at the beams of wonderful sunlight blasting through the windows like nuclear blasts. At last the safety of my room ( otherwise known as the bat cave) My dear friend Jenny helped me build this room. Bless her clever little heart , she put insulation in all of the walls. So the room is almost soundproof. My dark burgundy gothy curtains cut out most of the sun, A window fan, a ceiling fan and my nifty Menopause-fan all complete my neccesities to ride out a migraine. I collapse on the bed clutching my comfort pillow and comfort blanky. By noon the headache from hell has progressed. My lips are numb and feel like a shot from the dentist is wearing off. My speech is slurred. I'm not thinking to straight. And speech is careful and slow so as not to upset the delicate balance of my body and somehow bring on more pain or the sudden urge to puke on the other person.

I finally decide to try one of those migraine cure pills the doctor is trying out on me. I slug it back. Wait. Fifteen minute minutes later I regret it. My neck now throbs, in time with my head. Waves off vertigo and nausea rush through me. Suddenly all sound , all light, seems so unbearable that I want to shriek. I feel dizzy, like my limbs weigh 100 pounds each. Then my throat starts to hurt and close up. I huddle in bed and pray it will pass. Strike another useless medication off my list.

This one has lasted far too long. Even today, when it seems to be ebbing, I am fearful that it's not really gone. A couple times this week I thought it was over, only to wake up with a worse attack.

Today it felt enough better, for me to venture out for a bit. Great to see sunshine with flinching, to see other people and talk. Now tommorow I'll write about the migraine hangover. Because I am nothing if no unfailingly cheerful.

10th Anniversary

2009-08-05T00:56:00.000-07:00

SaYes it was our TENTH anniversary on Saturday and NO , no one is to feel guilty for not giving us a big hoopla for it ( exactly what is a hoopla anyways??) We sort of decided to try and let the last few celebration type days fly under the radar. It seems kind of silly to blow up balloons and be partyish with all the stuff that is happening. Or maybe it's more like not wanting to get the attention of the bad luck fairies? haha just kidding...( looking furtively over shoulder) But it was a good day, the sun shone and we looked at computers and I bought a flash drive thingamabob to store my purty pictures and we had a nice dinner out and we talked a lot about what the years have held and we just wouldn't do anything different , even if we could, because of friendships and family and our kids and our grandkids all make a pretty gorgeous garden of life that we're blessed to live in. We reflected on how far we've come and isn't it amazing that we are still crazy in love with each other. This life is an adventure and how good it is, seems to depend on who you choose to be with in the journeys and how you decide to face the ups and downs.

You all are on my mind so much because you have all made my life garden so wonderful and interesting and you've made the adventure a lot of fun.

There haven't I mixed metaphors confusingly? haha

Oh and about celebration times. We need to all make a deal. When any one of us has a birthday of anyone we are connected to, coming up , we must phone each other and cheerfully remind each other. Especially me. (embarassed face) Now if you forget or mix up one of our birthdays, mothers day, fathers day etc etc I will not be offended. Life is too darn short and you've all given me tons of love so why should i feel slighted?

On the other hand PLEASE remind me when there is a birthday of yours or your spouse or one of your kids coming up. Don't be subtle. Because I think it's pretty much a rule of life that the mother and grandmother SHALL remember those and notify said birthday person of their importance.

That said I shall remind you that Sunday August 9th is Peter's birthday and Aunty Shirley's birthday. Mine is August 17th. I don't want presents, I want what I always want ( and always will) - photos!! haha You can even email the photos or send them to Walmart for me to pick up.

For a bit of news - we are still in the house, getting a few ominous letters, James is still working ( we are happy for every day of that) and James is still stocking up on kraft dinner. He has now branched out to Cheerios and laundry soap. It was quite funny when Brandi went to do some laundry and saw all the laundry soap. I told her we were stocking up for the coming apocalypse and she sure laughed. We're facing all world disasters with clean clothes and bravery. I've been busily ( and surprisingly happily) going through my boxes of treasures..erm I mean junk... and throwing stuff out.

Well time to head to bed for my nightly dose of Star Trek before I sleep. LOVE YA

2009-07-27T01:20:00.000-07:00

I was sitting at the computer today ( of course! haha) and listening to several news shows. The first two were about LEGAL scams by credit card companies (yep they are trying it on us) and other businesses cheating people. I felt so angry , and violated and like the evil and just plain cruelty of this world is all around and is it going to win??! Thinking, God, please do something about this, innocent people are going through so much right now, and I worry that our world is a scary place for my kids and my darling grandchildren and future grandchild (by the way if you are a spouse or partner of any of my children, you ARE immediately one of " my kids") I thought of all the stuff that is happening in our crazy world.

Then another show came on tv. About a family near St Johns who have been playing music for three generations. Its a wonderful mix of Irish and the Atlantic Canda culture. The whole family sings, some have even been in tv shows. Yet those whole huge extended family all live close to each, in the same small town. What struck me is how close this family is, how they love their culture and how much family means to them. The warmth they exuded for each other brought tears to my eyes. Some of them are teachers, their dad ( now a grandpa) was a school principal as well as his music career.
Just a simple show but I feel like God timed it , for me to see, " See this is what is important - family and living a good life and being there and making family and simple values important in your life. It hit me that no matter what the conflicts and personality clashes and misunderstandings and fights and all, family was worth it. These are people who will be your constant, they will be your friend, even if you have to work hard to get along ( or somedays to even like them haha) but what you are building is bigger than finances and all the troubles we face is this crazy new milenium. And i'm talking all of your family, cousins, parents, as many as you can keep relationship with. It's worth the investment of time , patience, love and conflicts!!

I love you all so very much!!!

Grrr SICK of being sick!

2009-06-15T15:30:00.000-07:00

Grrr I'm sick of being sick! I have all these lists of things I want to do, and I actually WANT to clean my house and walk " the back 40". Instead I'm watching reruns on tv in between running to the bathroom ( I'll spare you the details) and my back feels like a team of Sumo wrestlers practiced on it. I'm so tired I'm seeing double but I have only managed to doze for a twenty minutes at a time because of my wretched stomach ( that was a pun - get it ? wretched-retching okay I'm tired, give me a break) I did manage to throw together a meatloaf for supper, wandered around looking for potatoes and decided on rice ( gotta LOVE a rice cooker). We're probably not out of potatos, it's just that my brain is not working right. My body's latest ornery action is to punish me whenever I eat bananas or pineapple. Which of course, is why I am craving them. And squash. Go figure, I must be getting other people's pregnancy cravings. And of course I don't dare eat. That meatloaf is smelling mighty good though, I am going to eat some when its done and to Halifax with the consequences!

Maybe someday, when my grandkids are grown up , the medical profession will have discovered a cause and cure for these auto immune " disorders" that mess up so many people's lives. They'll find some connection for all of them. Probably all the plastic we use. Or possibly a combination of microwaves, cell phones and cow farts. Who knows? I can hope right?

By then I'll have gone out of this world in a freak sky diving accident. No worries, I won't do that until age 96. ( stupid George Bush Sr STOLE my idea!) You kids have another 40 some years of listening to me gripe and moan and stink up your bathrooms.

Coyote Songs

2009-06-14T03:14:00.001-07:00

Yes I am awake at this weird hour, but about to head to bed. The coyotes have been yipping and howling and barking for hours now. Are they passing on some news or trying to get the ladies to pay attention to them ( or some " ladies" telling the guys to leave them alone?) I've gotten so I turn off the tv and music once James is in bed, so I can listen to them. Such is entertainment for a country bumpkin. I am savoring all the things of living in the country , even more , now that we may have to leave here in the next year. I told the Lord and James, I'm going to enjoy every minute . I've got it pretty good here. Piles of interesting books to read, lots of scrapbooking stuff to do, tons of crafts odds and ends, fabric and even patterns, to sew with ( and a few sewing books to help me out because I'm not a naturally talented seamstress, heavy on the STRESS part of that word) Lots of yard work I can do when the weather and my back let me, flowers to pick to scent the house, birds to watch and listen to, and all sorts of green things growing. It looks like we'll have a good crop of tiny sweet apples this fall, hope I can make cider for friends and family and maybe a bit of apple jelly. These tiny apples are wonderfully sweet and when I boild down the apples I leave the skin on , which turns the cider a lovely pink. I rarely get bored but I'm missing some friends right now, time to set aside some weekends to go visiting!!!

Up until yesterday I wasn't sure we'd be here in this house till the end of summer. Now that things are a bit more hopeful ( more on the details of that later, if it really happens) I am happily planning to grow some veggies. I thought of trying to talk James into investing in some chickens and rabbits for butchering in the fall. Problem is I have to be able to handle their care because the job he'll be doing is very physicallly demanding and there is NO way I want to make him to do other chores on top of that. And frankly I'm not sure either one of us can handle killing the things. Once they're dead then the butchering part doesn't trouble us, so maybe we can work out a trade/barter with someone. They could help us, they would get some of the meat. Hmmm.

My fibro has been giving me fits and starts, and my back is more cranky and unpredictable than a teenager (hehe) There are certains things I used to do that I just can't do the same way. I'm quite proud that around the house I've " thunk up" some new ways of doing things. I always feel so excited when I figure something out that makes a chore easily doable for me!! Today I hung out towels on the clothesline and I got such enjoyment from it. Of course I forgot to bring them in before dark, if it rains they'll get some natural fabric softener!haha Along with the fibro comes those evil migraines. I get the whole " shmozz" of what the doctor calls " auras" - flashing lights and spots in front of my eyes, blurred vision, dizziness, extreme nausea and then comes the brain fog where I can't think. Then the light and sound sensitivity . I used to get grumpiness with it, but James has been so amazing, sympathetic but calm, gently suggesting when it's time to go to my WONDERFUL bedroom , which is cool and dark and almost soundproof. Bless that man!! He helps me with everything, I don't even have to ask, and he cooks too! He'll even try out my new dishes and likes most of them.

Anyways just my ramble in the wee hours. I've been basically sleeping for the last couple days, the migraine meds would mercifully knock me out for a few hours here and there. I'm hoping that tommorow I'll wake up with NO headache!

Blessings, Love ya all!!

Andrew Kicked a Ball!!

2009-06-10T04:01:00.000-07:00

Future Soccer Play Shows off his early skill with a ball. He's a natural, I tell you. Okay bust mostly freaking adorable!! Can't wait to see the picture and video!!

Things I'd Like to Do if I Won the Lottery

2009-06-10T01:35:00.000-07:00

Another list!! haha! I'm only doing ten, more next week. I challenge you to make your own.

Things I'd Like to Do if I Won the Lottery:

1. Take all of our family and friends to Disneyland. Rent a whole wing of the hotel. Pay off the staff to ignore our rowdiness. Hire a photographer to take pictures of the whole bunch riding the Teacup ride. Dress all the females in princess costumes. Pay off the twins so they don't do the gay act. If the paparazi show up tell them we are the redneck cousins of Angelina Jolie.
2. Buy an island and start our own commune.
3. Buy all of our grandkids a pony.
4. Buy all of our kids a fantastic house complete with stables for the ponies and a wing for us to use when we visit.
5. Fly over Donald Trumps' house in a helicopter and moon him.
6. Visit the Queen. But not bring the family. The poor woman is old and her heart is probably not up to that.
7. Set aside a trust fund for all of our grandkids to go to medical school and/or study art in Paris.
8. Pay for private adoptions of babies for any of our kids and their friends who can't have their own.
9. Hire Chuck and Jen to be our personal money managers and managers of our commune. If they want to, that is.
10. PAY OFF OUR HOUSE!!!

Things I want to do some day

2009-06-10T00:04:00.000-07:00

Things I Want to do some day ( or next week?)

1. Relearn how to crochet
2. Improve my sewing skills and actually START sewing again and not be chicken that I'm not good at it and will break any machine I touch.
3. Make quilts for all my kids and grandkids ( hopefully nice enough they don't have to hide and only take out when I visit)
4. Get good enough at sewing to design and sew some shirts for myself. ( I have them pictured in my head!)
5 Start making home made potpourri again.
6. Get back to dancing and exercising ( have to figure out how to do this without repeatedly " throwing out" my back )
7. Plant a cool terrarium.
8. Walk in a charity walkathon.
9. Get reading glasses.
10. Get my high school diploma!
11. Make sand and ice candles with James
12. Get a tattoo. Or several.
13. Lose 75 pounds and rediscover the skinny person trapped inside me.
14. Write a book.
15. Get my book published.
16. Hike up a mountain. A very small mountain. Maybe a hill..
17. Read the whole Left Behind Series
18. Go to a huge aquarium.
19. Whale watch whales in " the wild"
20. Hike to the beach on the West Coast Trail and camp a couple nights on the beach. Do they allow that? I don't want to hike the whole trail. Face it, Search and Rescue doesn't need that hassle.

I'm going to add more to this list . I challenge you gals to make your own list! I want to read them and be inspired ( or intimidated - either is fine) Sigh, I love lists.

Happy Birthday Dear Starla!

2009-05-28T00:16:00.000-07:00

Myspace Happy Birthday Comments & Graphics
It's Starla's birthday today ( okay technically yesterday, as I started to type this I glanced at the computer clock and it's just past midnight) and I've been thinking about her and remembering when she was as little as little Lily, so tiny for her age, yet so bubbling with life and ideas and funny little songs and stories. The true gift I received is her arrival into the world and being blessed enough to be her mother. She came into our life smiling and happy and I hope she has many days full of happiness in her life! Bless you dear daughter !!

How to Season a Cast iron frying pan

2009-05-18T14:13:00.000-07:00

How to Season a Cast Iron Frying Pan

A good cast iron frying is a godsend in a kitchen. There are good ones and some that aren't too great and some that become like a best friend ( smile) Many cast iron frying pans come with a label claiming they are " seasoned". Don't believe them. Wash off the factory guck (usually it's wax) with hot soapy water and then let your frying pan dry in the rack for a few hours. ( never try to season a cast iron frying pan that has been wet recently - cast iron is actually slightly porous so even when it looks or feels dry there may be some moisture still retained. Best to wait to make sure it is completely dry.

Once your pan is dry and at room temperature ( hasn't been in the fridge or oven recently) , get out shortening or lard and paper towel. Do NOT try to season your pan with ANY cooking oil or margarine or butter. They will leave a sticky residue and the pan will be sticky and hard to clean instead of seasoned properly.

Take a good " glob" of shortening and rub it all over the inside of the pan. (bottom and sides) You want a nice thick layer. Now turn your oven to 175- 200 degrees F. NEVER try to season a cast iron pan at a higher temperature. ( hot shortening is for deep friers not cast iron) Put your pan in and leave it at that temperature for the day. Yes I said the day. If you're into timing things, leave it in the warm oven for six hours.

After that take out your pan and wipe out all the excess fat with a piece of paper towel. If I think my pan still looks too " greasy" I wipe it with a damp (NOT wet) cloth. At this point it's best to put your pan away in the cupboard for at least one day before using.

Tips for using a cast iron pan:

Some " old timers" swear you should never wash a cast iron frying pan. Frankly I find the thought of that disgusting. I guess the old timers didn't worry about food poisoning? Germs? Bugs? I wash my pan with dish soap and warm water and let it dry in the dishrack or turn a burner on low for a sec and set the pan on it till it is dry . ( I quit doing that last one - I'm too forgetful and have ruined a few cast iron frying pans . Stop laughing) You can wipe it dry with a tea towel but it will stain the towel so I'd avoid that unless you have a specific towel set aside just for that. Washing your pan does take off the seasoning bit by bit, so don't worry if you need to season more than once.

A new frying pan is usually a dark silver color. It's pretty, but not seasoned. A well seasoned cast iron frying pan is BLACK. Inside and out. Black is good.

When I was younger we never used vegetable oil. Crisco oil was for deep frying donuts. We fried everything else in margarine, lard, shortening, bacon fat etc. The good thing about that is that none of those fats leave a sticky residue on our precious cast iron pans. The bad thing is that those fats turn us into blimps with hardening arteries. Now that we use oil for most everything involving cooking, the poor cast iron pan is subjected to ( dramatic drum roll) OIL.

Oil leaves a sticky residue on your cast iron pan. Unfortunately this has to be washed off, sometimes even scrubbed off. Which means you will probably have to season your cast iron pan more than once during it's cooking lifetime. Don't be afraid to use oil. It won't hurt your pan, it will just make it grumpy. When you notice it's looking a little whitish or even has an occasional rusty looking patch, it's time to season it again.

Picking a good cast iron pan can be tricky. Occasionally you get one that just won't season and everything sticks to it and it gets rusty right away. I have generally found that the heavier ( thicker) the pan is, the better. I haven't had too many " bad" pans luckily.

Another tip: Never place a hot cast iron pan in cold water, and never put an icy cold pan ( lets say for some reason your pan was in a snow bank for a while -- don't ask) into a hot oven or on a hot burner. Some will self destruct in a scary way in extremes, but you can pretty much assume that if your pan does this, it was a crappy quality to begin with. Bring both pieces into the store if you want to get a refund. Sort of self explanatory to the clerk. If you don't get a refund, it should make for an interesting discussion. If the clerk asks, tell her your husband tried to put the pan through his new time portal.

Happy

2009-05-14T01:57:00.000-07:00

I am happy today. Which may sound crazy, with all of the stuff we have been going through, but it is true. I miss Dylan and I certainly have a whole basketfull of worries and I ache for how James is feeling. But yet I have so much to be thankful for in my life and I've been through worse and not let my joy be stolen. No matter what happens, I can't say my life has been lousy because it's been the opposite. Yes I've had really rotten days when I wandered how I could keep breathing with how much I hurt. But then the next day the sun rose and God was still there and there were joys and beauties and things to lift me to my feet and keep me walking. Having survived the crazy times and experienced the joy, I have confidence that God does indeed turn things around. He does indeed give us the strength to get us through each hard time, each hurt , even trauma. I cry. I get depressed. But He doesn't let me stay there.

There is another reason that I can always find hope. My life has a purpose in God. He has a purpose for my life, and I know I can make a difference. For my whole life I've walked in this journey of life and know that my life, my one seemingly small life, is making a difference, is fulfilling a purpose.

No I'll never be a famous opera singer. Or a world renown evangelist like Billy Graham. Or an award winning actress. I'll never invent a cure for anything. I'll never design beautiful buildings or raise millions for charity. I'll never save an endangered species. I'll never paint a masterpiece or compose a song millions will hear. What I will do is try to quietly live my life the best I can, to try and be the person God wants me to be, as much as I'm able. And for God that's enough. Like Moses of old, if God called me to some huge task, I'd freak out, protest " Why me?!" and then pull up my socks ( tighten my sandals?) and do my best to do what God asked of me, and hope and pray He would give me what I needed to do it. Why? Because I have buckets of courage and confidence? No. Because I trust God to give me what I need , to do what He asks.

I'm not one of those people that thinks that we must prostrate ourselves, weeping , going without food and water, to try to make God hear them and tell them exactly what to do. I pray, I try to listen, then I figure, Hey He's God, He'll tell me what I need to know. If He doesn't give me details I figure out that He is a busy God, ruling the universe and He must think I have it in me to take the right steps and learn as much from my mistakes as I learn from my successes. And if freak out sometimes, or cry , or get mad because I stubbed my toe or say something to someone that I shouldn't have said, the God who created kangaroos and the platypus and the panda , is big enough to forgive me and even smile a bit at His child's latest silliness. ( and my guardian angel will shake his head , muttering about this whole free will thing and dust off his wings and follow me in yet another of my crazy ideas)

I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.

Philippians 4:12 NIV

Saying Good Bye to my furry pal

2009-05-05T19:51:00.000-07:00

Well today we got some more bad news. The vet says our Dylan-dog has a tumor. Our beloved furry friend has cancer. The vet says there might be a chance that it hasn't masticised and he could try operating but that wouldn't guarantee us more time or even him coming out alive. ( and would cost at least $700) I guess he's been sick for a while, we just put it down to his age and his sensitive stomach. I noticed that his fur was dull and never shiny anymore and apparently that is another indicator that something was seriously wrong. We also noticed that he's lost weight and much more in the last few weeks. We discovered this growth because it had ruptured and was bleeding. We thought it was a hernia and that Dylan had licked it open. Of course the horrid little thing infected while we were at Starla's and Dylan got very sick. My super hero husband was alternating between caring for a sick dog ( complete with disposable diaper on his doggy butt) and helping to chase three adorable but active grandchildren.
Anyways the vet said he's probably had the tumor for a lot longer and that it just grew outwards and then ruptured . By then it had done it's damage.

Life isn't fair sometimes. Dylan is the gentlest dog I know. Even during the vet's exam he was sooo patient ( even though he vibrated like a washer with a missing leg) James bought him as a puppy while we were dating and Starla and I helped pick him out. Over the years he's become my dog, following me wherever I go, even sleeping on my pillow with me.

These days I often feel like our life is spiralling out of control! As James said " What else is going to happen?". We both have cried and will probably cry some more. These days we are clinging onto each other and to God. I am thankful I have lived long enough to know that hard times never last. We may go through ordeals, but only for a time, and then God gives a time of sunshine and joy to lift us up. I used to tell the kids that you have to watch for rainbows, that blessings can pass you right by because you weren't looking , that during a storm is when you keep your eyes and ears and heart open. But you know, sometimes it's raining so hard all you want to do is hunker down and hide somewhere dry!